bye bye, carbs.

So, no ovulation yet. Day 51. That's right; in just 5 days, I could have already had 2 "average" 28 day cycles. In full. And I haven't even ovulated yet.

Oh well. Not much to be done about it.

It was a hard weekend. Ian and I are both just having a really rough time. When you start this process, it's really hard to think about anything else. Especially when you're dealing with physical pain every day, like Ian is. And when we can see our finances slowly draining (luckily still slowly so far- though I know it's going to start speeding up soon). Also, any time you see a baby. Bam. Reminder. Any time I see a pregnant woman; Bam. Reminder.

And, every time I think about food; I'm reminded. I hope someday I love food again. But, I hate it now. I hate it. I've been doing fairly well with my food choices of late. Yes, I've had wheat a couple of times, and sugar a couple of times. But most of the time, I do really well. Which I was pleased with; because all the books I read said "if you're good 80% of the time, that's just fine." Well, I knew I was good at LEAST 80% of the time- if not more.

Anyway, my acupuncturist told me this morning that she wants to emphasize my diet with me again. Since my body is holding on to weight like crazy, and not ovulating, I just need to cut all starches and most carbs. Basically protein, veggies and limited low GI fruits (berries and apples). It's not like I haven't tried to do this before. I mean, I've talked about it plenty of times: here and here. But, it was always sort of my own choice; like "oh, I'm not losing any weight just doing gluten and sugar free, so I'm going to be more restrictive." And it works for a while, but it always ends up being too hard. So, I go back to eating starches. Still gluten free and whole grain, but starches nonetheless. Initially I was only supposed to not eat wheat and sugar and dairy. But, I've lost no weight (actually gained weight), so clearly, something else needs to change. Also, this is my longest cycle. So, I understand the more restrictive diet....it's just hard. Because as I've mentioned before; I'm picky. I don't like fish, I don't really like eggs (they're ok, but I can't eat them every day), I don't like tofu, I don't like mushrooms.... the list goes on. So, it just becomes difficult when I can only really eat protein and veggies when there are so many proteins I don't like.

Here is my lunch today. It tasted better than it looks. It was turkey (really good, marinated white turkey), tomatoes with basil, and bell peppers and red onion.



So, this will all be hard. Harder than it has been. But, I'm going to do my darndest with it. Because, well, I have to. But I'm sure going to miss my oatmeal.

~M