Hello, and welcome to my blog!
My name is Mariah and I live with my amazing husband in New York City. We started trying to get pregnant in June of 2009, and have been unsuccessful thus far. I started this so I'd have a place to vent about all things fertility, since it's all I seem to think about! I think maybe like 2 people will read this entry, so, it probably doesn't matter much what I say. :)
Ian and I got married in August of 2004. The thought of children wasn't even close to on our minds at that point, but we knew it was definitely in the future. At the end of 2006 we uprooted ourselves from our comfortable life in Seatle, WA, to move to New York City to pursue and adventure. Both of us did theater in Seattle, so we thought we may try and pursue that; but mostly we just wanted to have an exciting adventure.
In 2007 and 2008, I saw many friends getting pregnant and having kids, but we still had debt, and just didn't feel quite ready yet. However, by the end of 2009 I paid off all my debt, turned 32, and figured it was now or never. We both finally felt really ready. I had always had an irregular cycle, but every doctor I saw just brushed it off saying "you probably are just one of those women with an unpredictable cycle" and left it at that. So, we started trying. I bought books on fertility, started reading everything online that I could find, and made my initial visit to an OBGYN. I hadn't had my period for 11 weeks at that point, so I went to her to get checked out. She suggested acupuncture to get my cycles more regular, and I called that day to set it up. I've been doing acupuncture weekly since June, and I love it. My acupuncturist is amazing and has been so supportive and lovely through the whole process.
Once I started my first cycle of "trying", I was totally optimistic that it was going to happen quickly for us. Even though I said outwardly, "oh, we're in no hurry, it will happen when it happens", in my head I thought, "We are going to ROCK this! I bet it happens on the first try! People all over the world will MARVEL at our super fast knocked-up-ed-ness! We have super eggs and super sperm and this is going to be no trouble at ALL!"
But…. month after month went by and nothing. In November I was diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome; which explained my long, sporadic cycles, and also probably explains why I've always had trouble losing weight. I was sad about this, because PCOS makes it all the more difficult to get pregnant. Every website and book that I read said, "It's not impossible to get pregnant with PCOS, just more difficult." This should have made me feel better, but, it didn't.
(um, I don't think I'm good at "summarizing". This is a LONG summary. Sorry.)
I did a lot of research. I modified my diet, read a lot of books. Also, we tested Ian's sperm just to make sure he was ok, and he was. He totally has super sperms. :) He's very proud of that.
At this point, I'm on my 7th cycle (in 9 months). I did clomid this cycle, but as I'm on day 38 and have not yet ovulated; it doesn't seem to have done anything. I'm going in to the doctor today though, and we'll see what she says! I may just have to wait until next cycle and try another round of a higher dose of clomid.
It's been a fairly emotional roller coaster ride. Each cycle I'd try not to get my hopes up, but each cycle I did. I planned on how I'd tell our parents if we got pregnant around Christmas time, I planned on how I'd tell my husband on New Year's or Valentine's day…. Each cycle to be let down. And every new cycle I'd start out cautiously, and by the end be so hopeful and worked up, it was worse than the last.
Also, I have a bit of guilt about whining about it. I know that there are people who try for YEARS and nothing happens. And I realize we're only at 9 months, and I should just relax. But, when you're doing acupuncture weekly, taking your temperature every day, taking Chinese herbs multiple times a day, modifying your diet to a really annoying degree, and stuck at a desk job with NOTHING to do except browse blogs about babies… well…it's hard to relax. :) But I'm really trying, because I know that there could be a long road ahead.
I remain totally optimistic though. I really want us to be parents, and I think we'd be good ones. So, now I'm sharing all of my super private baby makin' business with the internets. I'm really hopeful that this blog will turn into a blog about trying to get pregnant, to someday about BEING pregnant, and finally to being a mom. My very own splendid endeavor.
My name is Mariah and I live with my amazing husband in New York City. We started trying to get pregnant in June of 2009, and have been unsuccessful thus far. I started this so I'd have a place to vent about all things fertility, since it's all I seem to think about! I think maybe like 2 people will read this entry, so, it probably doesn't matter much what I say. :)
Ian and I got married in August of 2004. The thought of children wasn't even close to on our minds at that point, but we knew it was definitely in the future. At the end of 2006 we uprooted ourselves from our comfortable life in Seatle, WA, to move to New York City to pursue and adventure. Both of us did theater in Seattle, so we thought we may try and pursue that; but mostly we just wanted to have an exciting adventure.
In 2007 and 2008, I saw many friends getting pregnant and having kids, but we still had debt, and just didn't feel quite ready yet. However, by the end of 2009 I paid off all my debt, turned 32, and figured it was now or never. We both finally felt really ready. I had always had an irregular cycle, but every doctor I saw just brushed it off saying "you probably are just one of those women with an unpredictable cycle" and left it at that. So, we started trying. I bought books on fertility, started reading everything online that I could find, and made my initial visit to an OBGYN. I hadn't had my period for 11 weeks at that point, so I went to her to get checked out. She suggested acupuncture to get my cycles more regular, and I called that day to set it up. I've been doing acupuncture weekly since June, and I love it. My acupuncturist is amazing and has been so supportive and lovely through the whole process.
Once I started my first cycle of "trying", I was totally optimistic that it was going to happen quickly for us. Even though I said outwardly, "oh, we're in no hurry, it will happen when it happens", in my head I thought, "We are going to ROCK this! I bet it happens on the first try! People all over the world will MARVEL at our super fast knocked-up-ed-ness! We have super eggs and super sperm and this is going to be no trouble at ALL!"
But…. month after month went by and nothing. In November I was diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome; which explained my long, sporadic cycles, and also probably explains why I've always had trouble losing weight. I was sad about this, because PCOS makes it all the more difficult to get pregnant. Every website and book that I read said, "It's not impossible to get pregnant with PCOS, just more difficult." This should have made me feel better, but, it didn't.
(um, I don't think I'm good at "summarizing". This is a LONG summary. Sorry.)
I did a lot of research. I modified my diet, read a lot of books. Also, we tested Ian's sperm just to make sure he was ok, and he was. He totally has super sperms. :) He's very proud of that.
At this point, I'm on my 7th cycle (in 9 months). I did clomid this cycle, but as I'm on day 38 and have not yet ovulated; it doesn't seem to have done anything. I'm going in to the doctor today though, and we'll see what she says! I may just have to wait until next cycle and try another round of a higher dose of clomid.
It's been a fairly emotional roller coaster ride. Each cycle I'd try not to get my hopes up, but each cycle I did. I planned on how I'd tell our parents if we got pregnant around Christmas time, I planned on how I'd tell my husband on New Year's or Valentine's day…. Each cycle to be let down. And every new cycle I'd start out cautiously, and by the end be so hopeful and worked up, it was worse than the last.
Also, I have a bit of guilt about whining about it. I know that there are people who try for YEARS and nothing happens. And I realize we're only at 9 months, and I should just relax. But, when you're doing acupuncture weekly, taking your temperature every day, taking Chinese herbs multiple times a day, modifying your diet to a really annoying degree, and stuck at a desk job with NOTHING to do except browse blogs about babies… well…it's hard to relax. :) But I'm really trying, because I know that there could be a long road ahead.
I remain totally optimistic though. I really want us to be parents, and I think we'd be good ones. So, now I'm sharing all of my super private baby makin' business with the internets. I'm really hopeful that this blog will turn into a blog about trying to get pregnant, to someday about BEING pregnant, and finally to being a mom. My very own splendid endeavor.
~M
Posts
Can I tell you how happy I am you're blogging? Maybe I'll try to switch to Blogger again :) See you soon!
ReplyDeleteI have two other friends with PCOS who both have TWO children now. (Apparently there's a window after the first pregnancy that makes the second conception a lot easier). So there is definitely hope - which sounds like you have plenty of already!
ReplyDeleteAh sweetie... welcome to the IF world? Not so much - but, I know well your pain. A bunch of the "older Broads" had their own struggles, me-n-Nan-n-Val...
ReplyDeleteIt is totally excellent to have a diagnosis now. It gives you something to FIGHT!
PCOS can be manageable. Are you on glucophage? I see you're doing the low-glycemic diet - it can make a world of a difference.
Anyway - I found a lot of support on this site: http://www.inciid.org. It was a long battle for me, 7+ years, but, I had different issues. If you need recommendations for great REs in the New York area, I have some. ;-)
Sending you hugs - because, I know how it hurts. You are so strong and proactive - and, now you have a diagnosis!
~doe~