what can I say?

So, I'm not sure if I can blog anymore until next week. I just have no idea what to say, and I'm afraid if I spill out ALL that I'm thinking; well, it'll just be a bunch of crazy-on-a-page.
It's funny when you're waiting for the results of anything, really: You can say "oh, I'm not going to get my hopes up", but really, that's just what you're saying. At least for me. I SAY I don't want to get my hopes up, but really, my hopes are probably up. And that makes me really nervous, because I remember quite well the feeling of having your hopes dashed- and it totally blows.

So, I just don't know what to say until Wednesday. Any woman out there will attest to the fact that PMS can (and pretty much always does for me) make you a big ball o' crazy. Weepy, annoyed, bloated, and just not thinking very clearly. So, add to this that you're waiting 4 more days to have a stranger call you and tell you if you're pregnant; well, it's not a fun feeling.

Everyone says "think positive", but I don't think this is something that will help me. I'm trying to protect myself, and "thinking positive" doesn't make babies. Sorry, but it just doesn't. I'm usually a fairly positive person, and so if that's all it took, I'd have been pregnant long ago. (See? If I keep doing entries for the next 4 days, you're going to get all these pissy, downer entries.)

Anyway, if you don't hear from me for a few days, that's why. If I think of something interesting to write about besides "I'm pissy and grumpy and anxious!" (pissy and anxious are the two dwarves that Snow White just kept hidden.) then I'll make sure to blog, otherwise, I may take a couple days off.

Regardless, I DO hope you all have a LOVELY weekend! I'm going to rest (I have a stupid cold- and my last weekend was QUITE stressful) and just enjoy the time off with my hubby.

~M