an easier wait

So, last week I ovulated. I showed you my lovely chart, and here she is again- still looking quite lovely:


As you can see, my temp is staying up there so far; which is good. For those of you who read my blog but have NO clue about fertility or reading one of these wacky charts, I'll break it down for you. So, basically every morning at 6:30am, I take my temperature. Your temperature upon waking is called your Basal Body Temperature. I've been doing it for over a year, so my thermometer has little teeth marks on it. :) Anyway, my temp usually is somewhere in the low 97's (which is fairly average) in the first part of my cycle- the follicular phase. So, the point of these charts is to see when you ovulate. As you can see on my chart, on day 15, the temperature is significantly higher. This means I most likely ovulated on day 14 during the day or while I was sleeping. So, charting your temperatures can help you see a pattern in your cycle so that you can more accurately plan. In a cycle where you don't achieve pregnancy, your temps stay high for 12-16 days or so, and then drop back down when you get your period, and it all starts again (as seen last month):


Now, this is the FIRST cycle that has behaved "normally", so, my other charts don't really help me see a pattern. But, maybe if I don't get pregnant this cycle, with my current medication, they'll keep behaving this way, and I will start to see a pattern! This will help greatly.

Anyway, last month when I FINALLY ovulated on day 70, it was SUCH a hard wait to wait those 12 days to take a blood test. I think a lot of this had to do with how insanely long that cycle was. This time around, it has been a lot easier. I truly envy women who are trying to conceive and had a normal length cycle each month. Because seriously, this time around has been SO much easier since I've had so much less time to wait.

That being said, I'm still quite anxious for Monday (when I take my blood pregnancy test). This cycle I feel no symptoms at all, whereas last cycle I had all SORTS of symptoms that could be construed as pregnancy symptoms. Usually the progesterone I take makes me feel kind of crappy, but not this month. Perhaps my body is just getting used to the progesterone- who knows. Again, for those of you who are not reading about fertility daily, my doctor prescribes progesterone to take right after I ovulate. If I WERE to get pregnant, this would help support the pregnancy as my progesterone levels are a tad low. Once you ovulate, your body naturally releases extra progesterone. But if you don't have enough, like me, a little pill every morning and evening will do the trick.

So, this week has just been waiting… and this weekend is just more of the same. But, I'll know one way or the other on Monday afternoon, if we were successful this month. If so- wahoo! If not… well, back to the drawing board.

Hope this wasn't a boring post!

Have a lovely weekend, all.

~M

a chance of rain

Sorry it's been since Tuesday since I blogged! I didn't have anything very exciting to blog about until Wednesday afternoon, and then I just figured I'd write about it on Thursday. But, I didn't get to it.

ANYway, so, remember when Tuesday I was all "boo hoo! My follicle has disappeared! Woe is me!"? Well, I had blood drawn on Wednesday morning to check my progesterone and estradiol levels to see if I'd already ovulated or was about to, or wasn't even close. If I wasn't close (i.e. the follicle had disappeared) Dr. D was going to start me on another (higher dose) of clomid. This did not appeal to me, but, I didn't want another 85 day cycle, so I was eventually fine with it. BUT. They called me on Wednesday and said my progesterone was at 300 and my estradiol was at 100 (do I know what this means? no.) and that I was about to ovulate. YAY! So, it turns out my follicle was just probably being shy and hiding behind my uterus or some other organ. And lo and behold- Thursday morning- my temp was up! I tried not to get excited, b/c it could have been a fluke high temp but then this morning- another high one! YAY! Fertility friend (the online charting website) won't confirm ovulation until you have 3 days of elevated temps in a row, but I'm confirming it. :) Ovulation you guys! On day 19! Like a normal person! Here she is:


Isn't it lovely? Oh, and just to compare it to LAST cycle:

What an improvement! Yay, modern medicine and acupuncture! :)

I got my blood drawn this morning again to test my progesterone levels. I don't really know why. Maybe to confirm ovulation? Who knows.

So, another slight worry of ours is the news we got from Ian's doctor about the motility and morphology of his guys possibly making things a bit more difficult for us. Basically, a normal healthy couple has about a 25% chance each month to get pregnant. And yes, that's even if you're timing it perfectly. Ian's doc said that with our issues, we have about 1/2 that chance, maybe a little more. He suggested that next cycle, if we don't get pregnant this time, that we move on to IUI.

Ian and I were in the kitchen on Wednesday night chatting, and I said, "you know, 10-15% chance each month is really low. If the weatherman said there was a 10-15% chance of rain, I wouldn't bring my umbrella with me." Then he wisely said, "Well, yes, but if someone told me I had a 10-15% chance of winning the lottery, I'd sure buy a ticket." :) I like that better.

Oh, and also? This morning, the weather said 20% chance of rain. I didn't grab my umbrella, and when I went outside… it was raining.

I guess you just never know. :)

Happy Weekend, all!

~M

photo source unknown. please comment if you know.

yay!

Alright. So, remember when I said I was getting blood work done to see if I was ready to ovulate? Well, I got it done this morning, and the doctor's office called and just said it looks like I will ovulate soon! They can't tell when exactly, but tonight Ian and I get to knock boots and then I'm going in for my post coital exam, AND a sonogram to look at my ovaries to see how close we are.

So! All sorts of answers could be coming. Which is quite exciting to me after 70 days of this damn cycle so far.

So, cross your fingers y'all! Ovulation is just around the corner it seems!

My friend Kristin says that I should have an ovulation party every time it happens since it's so infrequent. I just may. :)

~M

P.S. The nurse who called me said that we should have "relations" tonight. It almost made me giggle.

grrrrrrr.

Day 40.

No ovulation.

Come ON!

Way annoyed.

BUT- I do have jury duty today and am strangely excited. I hope I get picked because we're in a criminal court so it would be a criminal case. And if you know me, you know I love all the Law and Order shows, so, yeah, I'm excited. YES, I realize it won't be as exciting as TV, but I'm a nerd so I think it would be cool.

Anyway, it's sort of distracting me from the fact that it's day 40 and I haven't ovulated yet.

Sort of.

~M

fasting and bruising

So, this morning I had to fast until I went in to the lab at 11:30 to get blood drawn. Now, there have been plenty of days I didn't eat breakfast or didn't eat until like 10:00 or 10:30 if I got caught up at work and just didn't have time. But for some reason waiting until 11:30 today was really hard. Probably psyched myself out a bit. I was SO hungry! Anyway, they are testing my glucose, insulin and blood type. So, we'll see! I ate as soon as I got back and now I'm TIRED. Yawnnnn......

Also, I got blood taken at my last appt. (on Wednesday with Super D) and the nurse like mangled my arm (click to enlarge):

Ow! It totally hurts still. What's that? You can't really see the bruise because you're totally blinded by my pasty white not-toned arms? Hmph. Well, it's there, trust me.

Anyway, today the other arm was used and so far it looks like she did better- no bruise yet. But you can see the needle hole:

What's that? You think I'm a big baby for posting pictures of my tiny injuries? Well, first of all, aren't we rude today, and second of all, ppbbbbbbbbbbttttttt!

ALSO- it's only Monday? How is this possible? Gah.

Also Also, I have jury duty this week! I'm kind of excited about it! I know, that's dorky, but something about it always seems kind of exciting. It's on Thursday and I'd guess Friday too, but I don't know yet.

I'll bring my laptop with me though, so DON'T YOU WORRY! I'll still be able to post. I know. For a second you were all like "WHAT??? But if she's in jury duty, how will we get access to updated photos of her pasty white arms?" But no fear. I'll still be around.

~M

P.S. In case you're keeping track- day 37- no ovulation. sigh.

a fresh outlook (aka- super doctor; the visit)

So, as you may have heard, I met with an new Dr. yesterday. Super Doctor, as I referred to him here. I asked him if we could call him that, or maybe if we could just call him Super D, but he wasn't down with that.*

Anyway, we got in there and he was down to business right away. Many, many questions (some REALLY personal)were asked. He had all of my paperwork that I had mailed in in April in front of him with tons of notes. You guys, he had little tabs on different pages and expertly and quickly flipped back and forth between pages. He also had some things memorized! Crazy. He had really looked this stuff over before our visit, so that was really nice to see.

So, what did he say, you ask? Well, first of all, thanks for asking! I'll tell you!

1. He said first and foremost, even though I don't ovulate regularly or as often as I should, I DO ovulate, and that is a really good thing. Not all women who have PCOS ovulate, so I'm happy that I do.

2. My thyroid is under active. I've known this, but my ObGyn said she didn't want to put me on thyroid, because she didn't think it was under active enough. He said that it was, and that most likely he will put me on a low dose of thyroid medication. He also said that this could make a big difference for me.

3. I might have been pregnant in January. Basically he said that my temperature chart did the initial spike, and then it went up again, which is often indicative of a pregnancy. I had some serious pregnancy symptoms that month, but I was also taking progesterone, so I thought that was what was causing the weird symptoms. But he said I may very well have been pregnant, and it just didn't "stick". Crazy. I'm not really sad about this, because if I WAS pregnant, I didn't know about it.

So, now we're moving forward with testing and waiting for results to see where we go from here. He took some blood to test my testosterone levels (because those had not been previously tested, and if I have an excess amount, that would really mess with things too) and I'll go in next week to get some blood drawn to test my fasting glucose. Basically, women with PCOS are often insulin resistant, but not always. My previous doc didn't test my glucose and just put me on metformin without checking if I WAS insulin resistant. So, he told me to stop taking it for now. If it turns out that I am, we may just have to do a higher dose. (Which kind of sucks, because metformin often makes me really nauseated.)

Ian is also getting his sperm tested again at a fancy pants lab that specializes in semen analysis. I'm sure they're still going to show up as the strongest-best-most-handsomest-sperm-on-the-planet, but better safe than sorry.

Anyway, we're just going to wait for those test results, and go from there. I will most likely be on clomid and either metformin or something else along with a thyroid medication for my next cycle.

It honestly at first was hard for me to leave the office and realize it was just more WAITING... but I know that's how this works. I am happy though, that I've got someone who really knows what he's doing.

That's it! I'll be updating as I get more news! I'm a little sad for more waiting but excited that we now have a new person looking at our situation, and I hope we start to see some results!

Now if I would only ovulate....

~ M




* I didn't do this. But it would have been funny. But, sadly, I didn't. I wanted to, but Ian said I couldn't. What a killjoy.

worn out

I'm tired. I'm tired of all of this. Tired of fertility stuff, tired of staring at my chart wondering when or if I'll actually ovulate, tired of herbs, vitamins, temperatures, weight issues, food issues.... just, all of it. I don't know why I'm feeling this way now; but I feel like I've lost a little hope. No, not ALL hope. I still know it's possible and that we'll hopefully be able to have a baby someday. I think probably my meeting with the super doctor will help get my hopes back up.

But right now... right now- my heart hurts. My brain hurts; tired of all the "what ifs".

I'm just tired.

~M