weekly wednesday update

Happy Wednesday, all!

It's a busy, exciting week for me; lots going on! My mother-in-law, Kath, is coming for a visit starting today through next Wednesday, which will be fun! I'm having a small shower on Sunday, so she'll be able to attend that, which is really nice.

Also, my friend Jamie is in town for the weekend, so she'll be able to attend as well! In addition to the shower, we have a lot of other things going on this weekend. On Friday night, I'm singing with my friend Neil at the Parkside Lounge. We've been singing together for over four years. He's a very talented singer/songwriter, and we always have fun performing. It'll probably be my last show before the babies are born, so it's nice that Jamie and Kath can come and see the show.

Then on Saturday, we're attending a birthday party for my favorite two-year-old, Vera. She's Neil and Wendy's daughter, and Jamie's neice (remember- Wendy was the one who gave us all those clothes and baby gear!). Vera's the cutest little girl, and I'm so looking forward to her party. :)

Ok, on to the update!

How far along? 24 weeks 6 days!

Total weight gain/loss: To date, 12 pounds. I don't weigh in at the doctor again until next Friday, so I'll know more then.

Stretch marks? Yes. Like pretty painted red lines on my lower stomach. Hmm. Lying about them being pretty doesn't make me feel any better. Oh WELL.

Maternity clothes? Yep! Still have NO clue what to wear to my shower. It seems as though I have the same issue I did pre-pregnancy: anything that fits me elsewhere is GIGANTIC for me in the chest area. I'm sure my cup size will increase soon enough, but so far? Nope. So, I ordered a dress online, and it just kind of hung off me like a sack. I may just not have anything super adorable for my shower. OH wells.

Sleep: Samesies. Crappy, but used to it.

Best moment this week: Our crib arrived one day early!! So last night, the ever-handy Ian set it up and we now have an actual crib in our room! So exciting and unreal!! Soon there will be two babies in there!

Movement: Yep! I love it so much. We still haven't been able to coordinate Ian feeling them kick again, but I know that will get easier as the weeks go on.

Food cravings: Nope.

Genders: Still two girls!

Labor Signs: No- not yet.

Belly Button in or out? Still in, but getting shallower by the day.

What I miss:My mom. I know that's not what this question is looking for, but it's true. :)

What I am looking forward to: Seeing my friends and family this weekend!

Weekly Wisdom: Stretch mark minimizing creams don't seem to work very quickly. I got this one which is safe for pregnancy, and so far, nada. I'll keep it up, but who knows. I also use this oil along with it for a double whammy. I may have stretchmarks, but I have the softest tummy around.

Milestones: Getting the crib!
And, here's me at 24 weeks 6 days!






This was the same dress I was wearing at my 19th week photo. Seems as though the belly has grown quite a bit! Also seems as though I'm getting a bit of a pregnancy roundy face. I was going to quit taking bathroom photos and take better ones for you, but now I feel like they're part of a series, so who knows. :)

Happy Wednesday to all!

~M

baby nook

So, our crib arrives tomorrow, and we’re going to start setting up a little corner of our room for the girls! I’m so excited. I’ll for sure take pictures when it’s all finished, though that may be a couple weeks as there is going to be some painting involved. Here’s a sneak peak though, of some cute things that will most certainly be in the baby nook:

I can’t wait! I wish I was decorating a whole nursery, but that time will come soon enough. So for now, I will give them the loveliest, happiest, coziest nook I can.

~M

*photos found here, here and here

oh, and it's twins

I feel like I always have to give this little caveat when someone asks how far along I am, or when I’m due. Most of the time when I say “6 months along” or “due at the beginning of July” people just say “cool!” or “so exciting!”. But a couple of times now, people have said “oh! Wow!” with the implication in their voice and on their faces as they glance at my belly of “you still have 3 more months left and your stomach is already that big?” and that’s when I quickly follow up with “yep, with twin girls!”. Then they usually look relieved, or like I’ve really cleared something up for them.

I’m so excited to be having twins, but sometimes I wish I didn’t have to give this little disclaimer. “No, see I have a REASON I’m so gigantic for only 6 months along!”. Oh well. :)

Ok, on to other news! Today I had a growth ultrasound (I’ll have those every 4 weeks from now till the end, because they have to make sure they are growing ok (not running out of room) and also are no more than 20% different in size from each other). It was so nice to see them! Hearing their little heartbeats always brings me this HUGE sense of relief and happiness. I had a horrible nightmare this week about losing both of them and it just was the worst. So seeing them was just wonderful.

Baby A is still head down (yay- Baby A!) and Baby B is still transverse with her head on the left side and her bum on the right. I feel most of the kicks/movement on my right, and then lower down on the right, so I’m guessing that it’s Baby B kicking, and Baby A punching or something. :) Baby A is measuring 1 pound 9 ounces, and Baby B is measuring 1pound 8 ounces. They’re both in about the 50th percentile for height/weight (this is based on single babies) and are only 4% different in size. Yay! The ultrasound tech said that at my next scan, the growth will probably start to slow, since they’ll start to run out of room. (Read: Oh holy lord, I’m going to be getting more gigantic by the day).

I didn’t get any great pictures of them today, but I’ll post the ones I did get, later this weekend. We noticed that they’re starting to look more and more like little babies in there- which is exciting!

According to baby center, this is what it looks like in my uterus right now (though mine aren't both head down):

Our crib is arriving next week! I’m so excited; I really can’t wait to set up their little nursery corner. :) Also arriving next week; my mother-in-law! She’ll be staying with us for a week and I’m very excited. Also, my friend Jamie is coming in for a short little visit to see her niece and sister, and also come to my shower. I’m having a little baby shower next Sunday, which should be very fun. And having my mother-in-law and Jamie there will just make it even more wonderful! I can’t wait.

We are officially signed up for 3 classes at Mt. Sinai: Childbirth Sundays- which is 3, 2 ½ hour classes, 3 Sundays in May; Breastfeeding, and Caring for a Newborn. I’d also like to sign up for a CPR class, but haven’t done that yet. I’m pretty excited to take these classes! I worried that taking them in May might be too early, but then I also worried that I’ll be too gigantic in June to want to have to worry about that, so I think it’ll be ok. I can’t wait!

And, I promised I’d update you on exercise. Well, I didn’t do what I said I’d do. This week I just didn’t manage to do any of my workouts. I did walk across town twice after work, (instead of taking the shuttle) which is about .8 miles, and I’ll probably do that again today. It’s not much, but it always tuckers me out. I will be cleaning house like a madwoman this weekend, so that should be some good exercise. It’s so hard though; I just am SO exhausted when I get home, that working out sounds like the last thing I want to do. But, I AM going to try and squeeze a little more in to the next two weeks, as I have my glucose test in two weeks and want to do everything I can to make sure it turns out ok. So, I’ll walk as much as I can, and do some workouts here and there and keep trying to eat healthy.

Have a great weekend everyone!

~M

weekly wednesday update- birthday edition

Today I turn 34, and I think that by far, this is my favorite birthday ever.

I’m not having a huge party or anything (though my husband IS taking me out for a lovely dinner and I can’t wait! THE most exclusive party in town!) but I just couldn’t be more excited about this year. It has been such a long road to get where we are; so many fertility/health struggles, a loss, and just lots of heartache along the way. So today, when I turn 34, I am so thankful for my amazing husband, my wonderful family and friends, and my two little girls that I just can’t WAIT to meet. Yes, I am quite excited for 34, in a way that I’ve never been excited for a birthday. Thankful doesn’t even actually begin to cover it.

Ok, now on to the update!

How far along? 23 weeks 6 days!

Total weight gain/loss: To date, 12 pounds. I’m hoping to slow it down a bit from here on out, but as I understand, the end is when you gain weight the fastest. Ugh. I’d LOVE to keep it at no more than 20, but I guess we’ll see. I’ve been better about getting some extra walking in this week, so maybe that will help. Though my co-workers DID just get me an ice cream cake for my birthday, and I just had a big piece… so…

Stretch marks? Yes. And it will be yes until forever, because those sons of bitches don’t ever go away. Stretch marks? More like jerk marks.

Maternity clothes? Yep! Trying to find something to wear to my shower next week. Haven’t had any luck yet!

Sleep: Meh. I think I’m getting used to it being crappy. I’m a tiny bit worried about how much my hips hurt when I wake up each time to flip over, only because I know it will only get worse….

Best moment this week: I have been feeling the babies kick from the outside, but THIS week, Ian got to feel two kicks! It was pretty darn wonderful and amazing to share that. Sappy? Yes. True? Also yes. :)

Movement: Yep! I feel them every day now, several times a day. It’s the best thing ever. Even when I wake up at night and they are like “yay, mom’s up! Time to party!” I don’t even mind, because I like feeling them move so much.

Food cravings: Nope.

Genders: Still two girls!

Labor Signs: No- not yet.

Belly Button in or out? Still in, but I give it a matter of weeks before it’s out.

What I miss: I miss having a seat on the subway. OH WAIT! I always get a seat now because people always kindly give me their seats when the train is crowded!

What I am looking forward to: I have a growth scan on Friday, so I get to see how big they are and how they’re doing. My favorite!

Weekly Wisdom: I really don’t like this one. Wisdom, wisdom… let’s see…… it’s my birthday today, so you’d think I’d feel a little wise about something. Oh! If you get a run in your maternity tights and you think that you can just go get some regular tights in a bigger size and they’ll be ok, you’re wrong.

Milestones: As mentioned earlier, Ian felt the babies kick! That is my favorite milestone so far. :)

That's it for my update this week!

~M

working it out, part deux

So, it seems as though this week, my babies are each the length of an ear of corn- 11.5 inches from head to toe. And, they supposedly weigh 1.5 pounds each! That’s crazy. I’ll see what they actually are next Friday for their growth ultrasound.

Let’s see, what else, what else….

Oh, exercise! I said I was going to write about it and I never did because I got all gloomy gus about my weight gain. So, I’ll talk about it now. When I was pregnant the first time, I showed you all the cool videos I had, but I never got a chance to do them during that pregnancy. So, I’m going to break ‘em out now.

On Monday, I did my Summer Sanders prenatal workout. I like it a lot. I did the express 2nd trimester workout, which is 30 minutes, but this weekend I’ll do the full length one. I don’t actually know how long that one is, but I’m guessing 45-50 minutes.


I also plan on doing this Kathy Smith one this weekend, because mostly I can’t wait to see how AWESOME the rapping section is. Yep, there’s a section where they rap, in their leotards, tights, sunglasses and backwards hats.

I can’t wait.

I also have this yoga video which I haven’t tried yet, and may try to do this weekend if I have the energy, but most likely will wait until next week.

So, I think I have my bases covered and I’m really going to try to do something 3 times a week from here on out. Maybe every Friday I’ll let you know what I did to hold me more accountable. (I know. Try not to get too excited about hearing about my weekly workouts. It’s pretty scintillating stuff.) I am not doing this to lose any weight; I’m doing this to be as healthy as I can to help with delivery and so that my babies are healthy. I also know that you tend to be able to lose your post-pregnancy weight faster if you’ve been exercising during pregnancy, so that’s a plus.

So, that’s my Friday news! Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

~M

happy st. patrick's day!

Twin belly at 23 weeks! I tried to dress the belly in green today, but it would only button at the top. :)

Have a safe and happy holiday!

~M

weekly wednesday update

How far along? 22 weeks 6 days!

Total weight gain/loss: Well, I had my doctor appointment yesterday. And in the last 3 weeks, I’ve supposedly gained 8 pounds. UGH. Ok, I don’t know if I entirely believe I’ve gained that much. Yesterday my digestion was a bit off, and it felt like all the food I’d had the night before, and all the food I had that day (my appointment was at 5:30pm) was just sitting there in my stomach. So, I think that was part of it. However, I know I must have gained some. I asked her if she was concerned, and she said, “Not at all. 12 pounds in 22 weeks for a twin pregnancy? You’re doing awesome.” Which is nice to hear, but honestly, I just do not want to be carrying around another 10-15 pounds on top of this. I know I very well might, but I just can’t imagine how uncomfortable that will be. I also am so so paranoid about gestational diabetes. Anyway. All in all, I’m not happy about this, but not much I can do. I did exercise the other night, and will continue to do so at least 3 days a week. I’m also going to ignore any and all frozen yogurt cravings for the next 3 weeks (my next appointment and also when they’re doing my glucose test) to see if that helps.

Stretch marks? Yes.

Maternity clothes? Yep, still wearing maternity clothes.

Sleep: Oh, kind of crummy lately. Last night I woke up every 45 minutes, my hips killing me. I had to flip over each time, which sort of helped, but not really. I’ve really started to be sore lately, and I’m hoping that exercise and yoga will help a little.

Best moment this week: I was absentmindedly just sitting on the couch with my hand on my belly, and I felt a SUPER tiny kick from the outside. First time that has happened, and it was really wonderful.

Movement: Yep! I feel them every day now, several times a day. I think I feel more from baby A, because she’s head down. Baby B is laying horizontally above her, so I think it’s harder to feel her movements at the size she’s currently at. But I do feel both of them, especially when I’m lying down, or after I’ve eaten. It’s really the best thing ever.

Food cravings: Nope.

Genders: Still two girls!

Labor Signs: No- not yet.

Belly Button in or out? Still in, but I give it a matter of weeks before it’s out.

What I miss: I hate this category, because I don’t want to EVER sound ungrateful for being pregnant with my two babies. Because in general, it’s been nothing but exciting and wonderful. That said, I do really miss sleeping through the night. And yes, I realize this is just something I need to get used to. I think it’d be less difficult if it weren’t also accompanied by hip pain.

What I am looking forward to: More movement! I’m excited for when they’re a little bigger and I can constantly feel them move from the outside, and Ian can finally feel it as well.

Weekly Wisdom: I’ve read in several different places this week, to enjoy the time you’re pregnant, because it goes by so quickly. I’m really trying to do that, because I know it will race by. I don’t want to miss anything!

Milestones: Someone totally touched my belly without asking. Granted, it was a co-worker and not a stranger, but it was pretty funny. I didn’t mind at all, because it made me totally feel like a real pregnant lady. Probably wouldn’t dig it too much though if it had been a stranger. :)

That's it for my update this week! Happy Wednesday to one and all!

~M

my diet and exercise history

Exercise, diet and I have a long, on-again off-again relationship. As a teen, I didn’t have the most active Jr. high/high school experience. You see, I took a LOT of music classes, and because of this, they let me bump my Phys. Ed. I took PE in Jr. high, but in high school, I believe I only had to take one quarter of it, because I was in 3 different choirs. Should they have let me do this? Meh- who knows. I was never very sporty or athletic, so I highly doubt PE would have changed that for me. But, physical exercise and movement is important… so, who knows what would have been best.

I tried in high school a couple of times to lose some weight, but really, I wasn’t that overweight. Maybe 15 pounds or so. I mean, that’s not NOTHING, but it wasn’t horrible. Never really succeeded though, and carried my extra weight into college.

In college, I gained the freshman 15-ish, and as I said, I was already probably about 15 pounds overweight. So, in my sophomore year of college, my roommate and I went on our very own design of a weight loss plan. It really wasn’t much of a weight loss plan; but when you’re 19 and you’ve never been much of an exerciser, then you add in exercise 5 days a week, plus cutting calories, the weight comes off pretty easily. Ah, the metabolism of high school/college. For exercise we did a Kathy Smith work out tape as often as we could, and that’s pretty much it. We also cut calories in probably a not very healthy way. I mean, we didn’t starve ourselves, but we still didn’t eat that healthily. Just ate LESS of the junk we were already eating. It worked though, and when Is started my junior year, I was down about 35 pounds.

Throughout the rest of college, I kept the weight off MOSTLY, but probably gained back about 10 pounds. I wasn’t really exercising, but I was really busy, so that helped.

In my early 20’s, I slowly started gaining it back, so my friend Jamie and I went on Weight Watchers. We also started working out together every weekday morning. It worked swimmingly, and I lost about 40 pounds. Then, I broke my foot. This was devastating to me, because I had been doing so well, and still wanted to lose a little weight, but because of my injury, I couldn’t exercise, and I got depressed. I gained back about 20 pounds.

The next time I lost weight was when I was doing a show, and found out I had to be in a bathing suit on stage. Now, granted, it was a 1940’s bathing suit so there was a little more coverage, but a bathing suit nonetheless. I started doing Weight Watchers again, and also started running. I had very little free time, as I went straight from work to the show, but had about an hour after I arrived before I had to start getting ready for the show so I started running during that time. I wasn’t a very fast runner, but I’d run for 30-45 minutes, take a shower, and then do a very dance heavy show for two hours. I probably lost about 20 pounds during that show.

Sadly, it’s all uphill from there. We moved to California for two months because my husband got a show, and then moved straight there to New York. I just slowly gained and gained. I think I gained because we were lonely and didn’t have many friends, and didn’t know what we were doing in this big city, and, I was in my 30’s; my metabolism slowed down. Then I discovered I had PCOS, which explained why weight loss had always been a little slow going for me. I tried a couple of times to lose weight while living here, and I think I was able to lose maybe 10 pounds each time, but then would gain it back.

When we started trying to conceive; I really wanted to lose weight beforehand. But, I had a lot to lose, and once we decided we were ready, we wanted to start right away. I think I knew it was going to be hard for us to conceive with my wonky cycles, so I didn’t want to waste time. When we started trying and nothing was happening, and then we started facing hurdle after hurdle, I slowly started to gain weight. I was depressed and discouraged. You’d think I was gaining weight because I was gorging myself or something, but no, I had just stopped paying really close attention, and the weight slowly climbed up.

After my miscarriage, the bottom just kind of dropped out of our worlds. I think I gained another 5-10 pounds after this happened. And now we’re here. I’m pregnant with twins, and started out at a not very desirable weight.

I think and worry about it constantly. I don’t want to get so huge that I can’t move around very well. I mean, this will already happen since I’m carrying twins, but if I gain too much weight, how will my frame carry it all? I don’t want gestational diabetes. Now, I know that GD doesn’t only happen to overweight women. It can happen even if you’re a perfectly normal weight. But with my extra weight and my PCOS, and my twins, my risk goes up.

I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow, and I will face the dreaded scale. So far, by some miracle, I’ve only gained four pounds. I am worried about my weigh in tomorrow though, because I read that starting this week, weight gain will happen faster. The babies are growing faster. Of course I want them to grow. Grow babies, grow! I’d just prefer that my ass, thighs, and arms don’t grow along with them. My doctor had said it would be great if I could only gain a total of 15 pounds. It makes me nervous that I only have 11 more pounds I can gain from now until the end of June. I mean, that’s a little over 16 weeks. So, to do this, I can only gain a little over a half a pound a week from now until the end. GULP.

SO. What to do. Even though I should have been doing this all along; I’m going to start exercising. Why haven’t I yet? Well, mostly because I’ve been tired. All of my first trimester I was just exhausted. Couldn’t make myself do much of anything except for go to work and come home. Now that I’m 2/3 of the way through my 2nd trimester, I’m realizing; this isn’t going to get any easier. I just have to start now. I have 3 pregnancy tapes, and I plan on also doing some walking. I can’t do anything too totally crazy, because I wasn’t working out too heavily before I was pregnant, so I can’t change things up so dramatically. But, I can get some in, and hopefully be healthier for me, and for the babies.

I’m going to work out tonight when I get home, and I’ll let you know how it goes. I’m not really looking forward to it, as I didn’t sleep well last night so I’m already tired. But I know it’s for the best, for me and my two girls. So, it will be a focus of mine from now all the way through my pregnancy. Wish me luck! :)

~M

papayas and squash and heartburn

Well, according to my "What to Expect" app., the babies are the size of papayas. I think I might just start ignoring that app, because they aren't specific about whether or not the baby actually weighs the size of that fruit/vegetable, or is just the same length as. This week babycenter.com says that the babies are the length of a spaghetti squash, but that they weigh a pound. So, who knows at this point. Also, I was told that around week 24 (so, in a couple of weeks) that twin babies start slowing down their growth as it compares to single babies; just because they start to run out of room. So, who knows how accurate this whole fruit/veggie thing will be from here on out.

(So, remember, the babies aren't as big as the squash, just as long. Around 11 inches it says.)

Here is what one looks like in utero at 22 weeks (they don't have a twins in utero again until 24 weeks. Apparently they don't think people having twins want to see what they look like each week):

That seems so big to me! Crazy that I have two in there.

I got to see them ever so briefly this morning. I was just in for a quick check of my cervix (which is totally fine by the way!). Anyway, she let me see their little hearts and hear the heartbeats, and I saw them quickly. I get another growth scan in two weeks, so I'll have more time to see them then. It's just so reassuring to hear/see their hearts beating- so I was pretty excited for that little peek.

And, just a little word on heartburn. I have it usually at least once a day, sometimes twice. It hasn't been so bad most of the time, that taking 3 Tums doesn't do the trick. However, I've never ever polished off a whole bottle of Tums in my whole life. Usually, they sit in the medicine cabinet until they're way old. Now I've polished off this bottle and half of one sitting on my night stand. At least they have calcium...so, that's a plus. The old wive's tale is that if you have a lot of heartburn, your babies will be born with a thick head of hair. They sure wouldn't be getting that from my side of the family, but maybe from Ian's side. His sister has REALLY thick, beautiful hair, as does his aunt, so who knows? Or, it could just be heartburn. :)

That's all my news for today. I know; not too thrilling. I know I was going to write about exercise today, but that will have to be Monday's post.

Have a great weekend everyone! :)

~M

inadequately pregnant

If you’re a woman, you know all about the pressures society puts on women in various different ways. Pressures we put on ourselves. “You can have it all! Work, kids, a rockin’ body, a perfect mate, a steamy sex life, and perfect skin and hair and teeth.” It’s all over the covers of glossy magazines, commercials and shows on TV, and movies. Yes, a lot of it pushed by the media, but speaking for myself; I buy some of those magazines, and watch some of those shows and movies. So, I guess I'm not helping the situation.

When you get pregnant, you think you’d get a free pass on a few of these things, at least for 9 months or so. But alas, no. Yesterday, on my way walking through Grand Central Station, I stopped at a magazine stand as I hadn’t brought anything with me to read for my hour long train ride home. I scoured the racks and saw an issue of “Fit Pregnancy”. Ok, well, I’m not exactly what you’d call fit¸ but I AM pregnant, so, I bought it. I love magazines, so I was excited to have a brand new one to read on my commute home.

Once I reached the train and sat down, I looked at the cover. The things I could learn about in this issue were:

- 33 reasons to exercise now!
- Prenatal testing- who needs what and when
- How sex is better with a bump
- And then something about vegetables (don’t remember exactly)

So, I just started flipping through the magazine, because none of those “front cover” topics really jumped out at me. I came across an article about being sexy and healthy during pregnancy. Ok, cool! I’d like to be both of those things! Let’s see, what can I learn?

*First off, the picture of the article was a beautiful naked pregnant lady (all her bathing suit parts covered of course) laying on her side, looking all glowy and radiant and perfectly pregnant and just so very happy.

- Eat well: Well, I pretty much do that. I mean, I eat fruits and veggies every day. This article said I should try to eat a wide variety of them, but honestly I kind of stick to my favorites/what is easiest. And I try to eat plenty of protein and good dairy. (*guiltily throws away the Hershey’s Kiss wrapper on her desk from the candy she got from a co-worker, and tries not to think about the red velvet cupcake she had last night). Oh, but they made it SO easy for me, because they put all these gourmet healthy recipes in the back of the magazine. A sample week, if you will, so I don’t even have to think about it. How nice of them.

- Get plenty of exercise: Yeah, I’m sucking at this. I’ve officially exercised once since being pregnant. I’ve had plenty of days where I got a lot of walking in, but only one official exercise session. Honestly, I’m just tired all the time, and my back often hurts. Would exercise help this? Oh, I’m sure it would. I actually plan on writing a post about this tomorrow, so, stay tuned. But anyway. The article was like “oh, you’ll be so much healthier and so will your baby, and if you don’t exercise, you will be super unhealthy and so will your baby and you’ll ruin your baby’s life forever.” Ok, maybe it wasn’t THAT judgmental. I may be projecting a little.

- Then they talked about skin and hair care. They gave the usual spiel about how you can’t really prevent stretch marks with creams or oils; that they are genetic. Then they said something along the lines of how it wasn’t recommended that women dye their hair during pregnancy, especially not the first trimester. Um, this is contradictory to EVERYTHING I’ve read so far. Everything I’ve read said it’s fine to dye your hair, but if you want to be extra safe, don’t do it in the first trimester. But also; there is no evidence pointing to it affecting the baby at all. But when I read this; all black and white and glossy, it just made me feel horrible. Because I DID dye my hair a few weeks ago. I was planning on doing it at least one more time before I delivered. But now of course I feel like I can’t because of this dumb magazine and the happy, glowy, healthy naked lady in this article, pointing at me and silently judging me for Hershey’s Kisses and hair dye.

So, yes. Rational me knows I’m doing a good job. Every checkup says the babies are doing well; are on track. I haven’t gained much weight yet. So all seems to be fine. But I still can’t help but think of those little nagging things. “You should be exercising more! Eating more leafy greens! Not dyeing your hair you vain, selfish woman! Think of the babies! The tiny helpless babies are counting on you to not mess them up!” And then suddenly, it’s WORSE than usual. It’s worse than the everyday pressure a woman puts on herself; because now it’s not just about me, it’s about two other little lives that are completely depending on me. I know it won’t end after this because I’ll always worry about them, but right now it just feels like so much pressure. And you want to do everything right. And again; rational me knows I am doing well and doing my best. Rational me knows that every year they say that this new thing is bad, and this new thing is good, and who can keep up?

But even knowing all of that, I had to stop reading the magazine halfway through my trip. I was just feeling TOO crappy and just inadequate. It wasn’t inspiring me, it was overwhelming me. I know that “having/doing it all” isn’t really possible. There’s always something that has to give a little. I knew this even before becoming pregnant. But the message we get as women every day, pregnant or not, is that we SHOULD be doing it all: Work, kids, a rockin’ body, a perfect mate, a steamy sex life, and perfect skin and hair and teeth. So, what to do? Recycle that magazine, turn off that commercial, and do your best every day to just be as happy and healthy as possible, and hopefully the rest will fall into place.

That’s what I’m hoping for anyway. :)

~M

weekly wednesday update

How far along? 21 weeks 6 days!

Total weight gain/loss: Haven't weighed myself since my last Tuesday doctor appointment, but as of then, I was up 4 pounds. I have another appointment this coming Tuesday, so I’ll have a more up-to-date number then. I feel like maybe I’ve started gaining more, but who knows. It’s so hard to tell. I definitely FEEL like I’ve gained more than 4 pounds, because all of my new weight is up front.

Stretch marks? Yes. A few more. Whee.

Maternity clothes? I don’t know how much this section is going to change. I mean, from here on out, I’ll be wearing maternity clothes. I did just order 2 more pairs of Gap maternity boot cut pants, because they’re awesome and will probably help me make it all the way through the pregnancy for work clothes; I have 3 pairs total. They’re very cute and comfy.

Sleep: I think this is another category that just isn’t going to change much; in fact, it will probably get worse. I still wake up every hour and a half or so, my hips really hurting and needing to switch sides. The good thing though, is that I wake up, use the restroom, flip over, and go right back to sleep. Also, I have been getting really hot at night, and needing to open the window; but Ian gets cold. It kind of sucks, and we might have to switch sides of the bed or something so that I can be closer to the window.

Best moment this week: Snuggling on the couch with my husband last night. :)

Movement: I’ve definitely felt more movement this week! It’s pretty cool. I don’t always feel it during the day, but I think that’s just because I’m at work and not focusing on it. But sometimes there will be a really hard kick or flutter and I’ll feel it no matter what I’m doing.

Food cravings: Nothing special recently.

Genders: Still two girls!

Labor Signs: No. We had a nurse come by our house this weekend to show us a DVD on pre-term labor and to talk to me about recognizing the signs. It was covered by our insurance since I’m a high risk pregnancy. It was nice, but still didn’t really answer all of my questions. I think I’ll just have to make sure I’m really in tune with my body and all that is going on.

Belly Button in or out? Technically it’s in… but it’s TOTALLY on its way out. It’s very odd.

What I miss: I can’t say I’ve been missing much lately. If I had to choose, I’d say (once again) that I miss not getting all out of breath when I have to climb a bunch of stairs. Other than that though, I still very much am loving being pregnant.

What I am looking forward to: I have an ultrasound to check on my cervix on Friday, and last time I had one, they let me see my babies too! So I’m hoping that happens again.

Weekly Wisdom: This isn’t MY wisdom, but it is wise. My friend Kate posted this little paragraph on her blog, and I really liked it. It really made me feel a little less bad about the stretch marks:

“Our bodies are tools, not treasures. You should not spend your days trying to preserve your body in its eighteen-year-old form. Let it be used. By the time you die, you want to have a very dinged and dented body. Motherhood uses your body in the way that God designed it to be used. Those are the right kind of damages…We are not to treat our bodies like museum pieces. They were not given to us to preserve, they were given to us to use. So use it cheerfully, and maintain it cheerfully. You want to fix your body up in order to be able to use it some more. We should not be trying to fix it up to put it back on the shelf out of harm’s way or to try to make ourselves look like nothing every happened. Your body is a tool. Use it.”

- Rachel Jankovic

Milestones: Over halfway there!

Have a lovely Wednesday all! :)

~M

pregnancy brain

So, a while back, a friend asked me if I had encountered what many call “pregnancy brain”. I really thought that so far I had escaped it. Oh, sure, there were some days I felt less sharp than others, but those were days when I really hadn’t been able to sleep much, or, in the first trimester when I couldn’t get ENOUGH sleep so I always felt sleep deprived. I did have days where it was hard to concentrate at work, but it wasn’t anything major.

However, it now seems as though the so-called “pregnancy brain” has fully kicked in.

I’ll start with the not as funny story first. I had an appointment with my hematologist this morning. I see her every 6 weeks to make sure my levels of Lovenox are still ok, and to check my thyroid. Yesterday, I had a reminder pop up on my Outlook calendar “Appointment with Dr. Etingin tomorrow morning”. I also put a reminder on my iphone and it popped up when I was home last night at 7pm. However, between then and waking up this morning; I totally forgot about it. Didn’t remember until I was in the shower this morning, and realized I had to be out of the house in 5 minutes to make my appointment. Then, once I made it out the door by some miracle, I proceeded to head to the wrong train. I managed to only be 3 minutes late, but it made me feel pretty frazzled this morning.

The silliest thing I’ve done so far though, is in regards to the prenatal classes I signed Ian and I up for. In January, I googled “Mt. Sinai, prenatal classes” and clicked on the first link. It took me to a listing of prenatal classes at Mt. Sinai, and I saw that they were offering a 5 week course called “preparing for multiples”. Perfect! Over the 5 weeks (3 hour classes in the evening) they covered:

• preparing for birth
• comfort measures and pain management
• vaginal and c-section birth
• breastfeeding multiples
• getting organized at home

All for the bargain price of $200! Total for both of us! I was stoked and signed us up immediately. I got a confirmation, and was so pleased that we had such a perfectly tailored, comprehensive class.

Then yesterday, for some reason (even though our class wasn’t supposed to be until May), I decided that I should see exactly where the class was held, which route we should take to get there, and if there were any places nearby to eat dinner beforehand. So, I looked up the address that was on my confirmation letter: 600 University Avenue. Hmm. I had never heard of anything in the city being on University Avenue, but then again, it’s not like I know every street in the city. I typed it in to google maps, and it popped up with something in the Bronx. Ok, well, I know Mt. Sinai doesn’t have any branches in the Bronx. Weird. So, I put in “600 University Avenue, Mt. Sinai”, and this popped up:

Mount Sinai Hospital Joseph and Wolf Lebovic Health Complex 600 University Avenue, Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Yes, you read that right. Canada. I signed us up for classes in CANADA. Now, you may think “oh, but anyone could make that mistake. You just didn’t notice that the web address was www.mtsinai.on.ca that one time that you were on their page.” Well, that would make sense, only I went on the page a bazillion times to read about it. Never noticed that the web address ended in .on.ca. Then you may think, “Oh, but you just didn’t see that the phone numbers all listed on the site started with “416”- clearly not a New York area code. If you’d seen a phone number listed, you would have figured it out.” WELL, you’d think so, but no, I actually CALLED the number once to ask a question. Not even thinking about the fact that it’s not a NY area code. Then you may think “Well, you must not have looked at your debit card statement, because if you had, you would have realized that you were charged more than $200 because of the exchange rate.” No, I saw it, and thought “Oh, it must be taxes or something.” But somehow I didn’t see that it also said “(EXCHG RTE)” on my statement next to the charge.

So, there you go. Now I have to get a refund, and find some classes for us to take here. From what I can see, Mt. Sinai in New York offers nothing like their Canadian counterpart. First of all, we’ll have to take several classes separately. Second of all, it’s going to end up being over twice as much as the Canadian classes. And third of all, none of the classes will be geared towards twins.

What have I learned? Pregnancy brain is sure real. I read about it today, and apparently the combination of lack of sleep (check), raging hormones (check), and being distracted by the thought of the growing beings inside of you (check, check)- can give you what many call “Pregnancy Brain”. And clearly, since I can’t tell New York from Ontario, I’ve got a major case of it.

I’m super bummed that we won’t get our awesome class for the awesome price, but I sure am glad I checked now instead of the night before! Guess I’ll need to start really focusing hard on things and make lots of lists and reminders. I have a feeling I haven’t seen the last of you, pregnancy brain.


~M

*photo found here

baby carrots

Well, I didn't do Friday fruit day. Partly because there is starting to be quite the discrepancy as to which fruit/vegetable the babies are measuring up to these days. My "what to expect when you're expecting" app, says they are as big as a small spaghetti squash. But babycenter says they are as long as a carrot, and weigh 1 pound. So, I don't know. I think I'll go with the length of carrots though, and I'm sure they do weigh close to 1 pound each by now, as the last time we went in for a growth ultrasound, they were 12 and 13 ounces.


In the next few weeks, I've been told they'll stop growing QUITE as fast as a single baby would, just because they won't have as much room. I definitely have been feeling them move more the last few days! That's why I know they must be at or near that 1 pound mark. I feel little flutters several times an hour, and it's just pretty darn cool. I can't really tell who is doing what yet, but I know as they get bigger, I'll be able to tell which one is moving.

I've been feeling a tad bit overwhelmed lately with everything in the baby realm. It's hard to say exactly WHAT is overwhelming me; but I think a lot of it is the fact that I've been researching/preparing for this for so long, and now I'm just not sure what to do. Not that I feel fully prepared, mind you. I just am not sure what to focus on now. I've read a LOT of books, but there are still more to be read. I did my registry. Can't do much nesting or nursery prep, as we won't have a nursery for a while. It's too early to wash all the clothes. But honestly; the nesting hasn't completely kicked in yet anyway, so that's not even really a strong urge. We have a birthing/caring for twins 6 week class coming up in May, so I suspect that will take care of a lot of our questions.

There are definitely some little things I could be doing right now, but it kind of seems like my biggest focus right now just needs to be me. I need to get enough to eat, enough water, enough sleep, enough rest, enough exercise, etc. So, I think I need to just focus that for now. And spend lots of time with my wonderful husband, to enjoy what little time we have left as "just the two of us". :)

Anyone else deal with this "what do I do now" feeling? How did you handle it?

~M

weekly wednesday update

How far along? 20 weeks 6 days! Since we switched the due date at my last ultrasound, I'm 5 days ahead of where I would have been.

Total weight gain/loss: Haven't weighed myself since my last Tuesday doctor appointment, but as of then, I was up 4 pounds.

Stretch marks? Yes. Sad Face. I thought I was going to escape them, since my mom didn't have them, but nope. I don't have a TON yet, but given that it's only March... well, I expect more.

Maternity clothes? I wore a non maternity sweater today. I thought it looked fine before I left, but now I'm seeing that it's not quite long enough. It fits over the belly, and luckily I wore a long camisole under it. Seems as though they make maternity tops longer for a reason. :)

Sleep: Wish I could say it was lovely, but, it's just so so. Not horrible this week, but not great. I wake up at least every 1.5 hours, because my hips ache from laying on my side. So, I wake up, go to the bathroom, flip over my snoogle pillow, and switch sides.

Best moment this week: Having a stranger offer me their seat on the train! That hasn't happened yet, and though I didn't take the seat (I only had to go a few stops) it was a very good feeling. :)

Movement: I haven't felt anything since the first movement. I think it must be because of my anterior placentas, absorbing some of their movement. I wish I could feel them again though; it's pretty great! All of the books say that you'll feel them for the first time between 18-22 weeks though, so I'm not worried. Plus, less than a week ago, I saw them on the ultrasound moving like crazy. So I know they're movin' around in there. :)

Food cravings: Haven't really had any lately! Still mostly just aversions. Though, I HAVE experienced increased hunger this week; more than I have during any other time in this pregnancy. One minute I'm fine; the next STARVING.

Genders: Definitely Girls. We had another confirmation on Friday by a different doctor. So, that makes 3 Ultrasound techs and 2 doctors that say two girls. I think it's official. :)

Labor Signs: Well, not really. I THINK I've been having some Braxton Hicks contractions? Yesterday when I did some laundry at night, I might have pushed myself a little hard, which can sometimes bring them on. Nothing to worry about because they are totally normal, but it's a weird feeling. Last night they took a lot out of me, and I just rested after I did my laundry.

Belly Button in or out? It's in.

What I miss: Beer. I have never been a big beer drinker at ALL, but lately it sounds good. Whenever Ian orders a nice beer, I ask him if I can smell it. :) I've tried a couple of non-alcoholic beers, but they're no good. They always taste like Budweiser or something to me. Blech.

What I am looking forward to: More baby movement please!

Weekly Wisdom: I'm not feeling particularly wise this week- sorry!

Milestones: Over halfway! And, I think it's a milestone that someone offered me their seat on the train. :)

So, this is usually where I tell you what size fruit my babies compare to, but since we changed the due date, you don't get to hear about fruit sizes until Friday. Friday Fruit Day, as my friend Kristin suggested. :)

Oh- I just realized I never posted the most recent ultrasound photos from last Friday! So, here you go!

Baby A

Baby B

Baby A waving hello!

Happy Wednesday!

~M

a temporary nest

As I’ve mentioned before, we only have a one bedroom apartment, so the girls won’t be having their own nursery for a while. We plan on moving into a two bedroom, but not for many months after they’re born.

So for now, we’ve rearranged furniture in our bedroom, and will have a little temporary nursery corner for them. To be fair, we have a pretty big bedroom, so it should work out pretty well! We’re planning on just using one crib until we move into a larger place; and I hope that is ok. There are completely mixed messages online and in books, and I hate that! I thought I had it all figured out; basically it seems as though they can share a crib as long as they’re tightly swaddled and can’t roll over yet, so that they don’t suffocate each other. But then I got a new twin book recently, and they said to put them in separate cribs. This book didn’t say it was dangerous, but it said they’d sleep better. Anyway, we have options if they don’t sleep well together in the same crib, but I bet they will. I feel like they spent so much time together in utero, they will want to snuggle once they’re out.

We do have a bassinet that our friend Wendy gave us that we could use if we decide not to bed them together. I was planning on putting the bassinet in the living room along with this moses basket I’m about to pick up after work (yay, Craigslist!) for them to nap in during the day:


Also in my craigslist score for today is this rocking chair (I’m getting the basket and the chair for $50):


I know it just looks like a regular rocking chair, but growing up we had the exact same chair! My mom said she used to rock us to sleep in it, so I was excited to find it. I probably won’t put this in the “nursery” for a while, because I’ll need a more stable chair for nursing them, as I’ll be nursing them at the same time. But it will be great in the living room to rock them to sleep. I can’t wait!

I do have other nesting urges, but I’m fighting them for now, because A) it’s too early to do a lot of the things, like wash all the baby clothes and B) I really want to clean and organize, but I’m still just so tired all the time! I start something and then think “Ok. That’s about all I want to do for now.” Anyway, I am planning on doing some spring cleaning/organizing once spring actually arrives. Clean out closets, get rid of things we don’t need, de-clutter in general, and CLEAN. Deep clean things like curtains, upholstery, windows, shelves, cupboards, etc. I know I’ll want everything really clean when they arrive so that I don’t have to worry about it for a while. So, for now, the nesting is just going on in my mind. :)

Once we have our little nursery corner all set up with the crib and everything, I’ll make sure to share. I’m going to try and make it as cute and cozy as a temporary nursery can be. :)

~M