oh, and it's twins

I feel like I always have to give this little caveat when someone asks how far along I am, or when I’m due. Most of the time when I say “6 months along” or “due at the beginning of July” people just say “cool!” or “so exciting!”. But a couple of times now, people have said “oh! Wow!” with the implication in their voice and on their faces as they glance at my belly of “you still have 3 more months left and your stomach is already that big?” and that’s when I quickly follow up with “yep, with twin girls!”. Then they usually look relieved, or like I’ve really cleared something up for them.

I’m so excited to be having twins, but sometimes I wish I didn’t have to give this little disclaimer. “No, see I have a REASON I’m so gigantic for only 6 months along!”. Oh well. :)

Ok, on to other news! Today I had a growth ultrasound (I’ll have those every 4 weeks from now till the end, because they have to make sure they are growing ok (not running out of room) and also are no more than 20% different in size from each other). It was so nice to see them! Hearing their little heartbeats always brings me this HUGE sense of relief and happiness. I had a horrible nightmare this week about losing both of them and it just was the worst. So seeing them was just wonderful.

Baby A is still head down (yay- Baby A!) and Baby B is still transverse with her head on the left side and her bum on the right. I feel most of the kicks/movement on my right, and then lower down on the right, so I’m guessing that it’s Baby B kicking, and Baby A punching or something. :) Baby A is measuring 1 pound 9 ounces, and Baby B is measuring 1pound 8 ounces. They’re both in about the 50th percentile for height/weight (this is based on single babies) and are only 4% different in size. Yay! The ultrasound tech said that at my next scan, the growth will probably start to slow, since they’ll start to run out of room. (Read: Oh holy lord, I’m going to be getting more gigantic by the day).

I didn’t get any great pictures of them today, but I’ll post the ones I did get, later this weekend. We noticed that they’re starting to look more and more like little babies in there- which is exciting!

According to baby center, this is what it looks like in my uterus right now (though mine aren't both head down):

Our crib is arriving next week! I’m so excited; I really can’t wait to set up their little nursery corner. :) Also arriving next week; my mother-in-law! She’ll be staying with us for a week and I’m very excited. Also, my friend Jamie is coming in for a short little visit to see her niece and sister, and also come to my shower. I’m having a little baby shower next Sunday, which should be very fun. And having my mother-in-law and Jamie there will just make it even more wonderful! I can’t wait.

We are officially signed up for 3 classes at Mt. Sinai: Childbirth Sundays- which is 3, 2 ½ hour classes, 3 Sundays in May; Breastfeeding, and Caring for a Newborn. I’d also like to sign up for a CPR class, but haven’t done that yet. I’m pretty excited to take these classes! I worried that taking them in May might be too early, but then I also worried that I’ll be too gigantic in June to want to have to worry about that, so I think it’ll be ok. I can’t wait!

And, I promised I’d update you on exercise. Well, I didn’t do what I said I’d do. This week I just didn’t manage to do any of my workouts. I did walk across town twice after work, (instead of taking the shuttle) which is about .8 miles, and I’ll probably do that again today. It’s not much, but it always tuckers me out. I will be cleaning house like a madwoman this weekend, so that should be some good exercise. It’s so hard though; I just am SO exhausted when I get home, that working out sounds like the last thing I want to do. But, I AM going to try and squeeze a little more in to the next two weeks, as I have my glucose test in two weeks and want to do everything I can to make sure it turns out ok. So, I’ll walk as much as I can, and do some workouts here and there and keep trying to eat healthy.

Have a great weekend everyone!

~M

weekly wednesday update- birthday edition

Today I turn 34, and I think that by far, this is my favorite birthday ever.

I’m not having a huge party or anything (though my husband IS taking me out for a lovely dinner and I can’t wait! THE most exclusive party in town!) but I just couldn’t be more excited about this year. It has been such a long road to get where we are; so many fertility/health struggles, a loss, and just lots of heartache along the way. So today, when I turn 34, I am so thankful for my amazing husband, my wonderful family and friends, and my two little girls that I just can’t WAIT to meet. Yes, I am quite excited for 34, in a way that I’ve never been excited for a birthday. Thankful doesn’t even actually begin to cover it.

Ok, now on to the update!

How far along? 23 weeks 6 days!

Total weight gain/loss: To date, 12 pounds. I’m hoping to slow it down a bit from here on out, but as I understand, the end is when you gain weight the fastest. Ugh. I’d LOVE to keep it at no more than 20, but I guess we’ll see. I’ve been better about getting some extra walking in this week, so maybe that will help. Though my co-workers DID just get me an ice cream cake for my birthday, and I just had a big piece… so…

Stretch marks? Yes. And it will be yes until forever, because those sons of bitches don’t ever go away. Stretch marks? More like jerk marks.

Maternity clothes? Yep! Trying to find something to wear to my shower next week. Haven’t had any luck yet!

Sleep: Meh. I think I’m getting used to it being crappy. I’m a tiny bit worried about how much my hips hurt when I wake up each time to flip over, only because I know it will only get worse….

Best moment this week: I have been feeling the babies kick from the outside, but THIS week, Ian got to feel two kicks! It was pretty darn wonderful and amazing to share that. Sappy? Yes. True? Also yes. :)

Movement: Yep! I feel them every day now, several times a day. It’s the best thing ever. Even when I wake up at night and they are like “yay, mom’s up! Time to party!” I don’t even mind, because I like feeling them move so much.

Food cravings: Nope.

Genders: Still two girls!

Labor Signs: No- not yet.

Belly Button in or out? Still in, but I give it a matter of weeks before it’s out.

What I miss: I miss having a seat on the subway. OH WAIT! I always get a seat now because people always kindly give me their seats when the train is crowded!

What I am looking forward to: I have a growth scan on Friday, so I get to see how big they are and how they’re doing. My favorite!

Weekly Wisdom: I really don’t like this one. Wisdom, wisdom… let’s see…… it’s my birthday today, so you’d think I’d feel a little wise about something. Oh! If you get a run in your maternity tights and you think that you can just go get some regular tights in a bigger size and they’ll be ok, you’re wrong.

Milestones: As mentioned earlier, Ian felt the babies kick! That is my favorite milestone so far. :)

That's it for my update this week!

~M

happy st. patrick's day!

Twin belly at 23 weeks! I tried to dress the belly in green today, but it would only button at the top. :)

Have a safe and happy holiday!

~M

weekly wednesday update

How far along? 21 weeks 6 days!

Total weight gain/loss: Haven't weighed myself since my last Tuesday doctor appointment, but as of then, I was up 4 pounds. I have another appointment this coming Tuesday, so I’ll have a more up-to-date number then. I feel like maybe I’ve started gaining more, but who knows. It’s so hard to tell. I definitely FEEL like I’ve gained more than 4 pounds, because all of my new weight is up front.

Stretch marks? Yes. A few more. Whee.

Maternity clothes? I don’t know how much this section is going to change. I mean, from here on out, I’ll be wearing maternity clothes. I did just order 2 more pairs of Gap maternity boot cut pants, because they’re awesome and will probably help me make it all the way through the pregnancy for work clothes; I have 3 pairs total. They’re very cute and comfy.

Sleep: I think this is another category that just isn’t going to change much; in fact, it will probably get worse. I still wake up every hour and a half or so, my hips really hurting and needing to switch sides. The good thing though, is that I wake up, use the restroom, flip over, and go right back to sleep. Also, I have been getting really hot at night, and needing to open the window; but Ian gets cold. It kind of sucks, and we might have to switch sides of the bed or something so that I can be closer to the window.

Best moment this week: Snuggling on the couch with my husband last night. :)

Movement: I’ve definitely felt more movement this week! It’s pretty cool. I don’t always feel it during the day, but I think that’s just because I’m at work and not focusing on it. But sometimes there will be a really hard kick or flutter and I’ll feel it no matter what I’m doing.

Food cravings: Nothing special recently.

Genders: Still two girls!

Labor Signs: No. We had a nurse come by our house this weekend to show us a DVD on pre-term labor and to talk to me about recognizing the signs. It was covered by our insurance since I’m a high risk pregnancy. It was nice, but still didn’t really answer all of my questions. I think I’ll just have to make sure I’m really in tune with my body and all that is going on.

Belly Button in or out? Technically it’s in… but it’s TOTALLY on its way out. It’s very odd.

What I miss: I can’t say I’ve been missing much lately. If I had to choose, I’d say (once again) that I miss not getting all out of breath when I have to climb a bunch of stairs. Other than that though, I still very much am loving being pregnant.

What I am looking forward to: I have an ultrasound to check on my cervix on Friday, and last time I had one, they let me see my babies too! So I’m hoping that happens again.

Weekly Wisdom: This isn’t MY wisdom, but it is wise. My friend Kate posted this little paragraph on her blog, and I really liked it. It really made me feel a little less bad about the stretch marks:

“Our bodies are tools, not treasures. You should not spend your days trying to preserve your body in its eighteen-year-old form. Let it be used. By the time you die, you want to have a very dinged and dented body. Motherhood uses your body in the way that God designed it to be used. Those are the right kind of damages…We are not to treat our bodies like museum pieces. They were not given to us to preserve, they were given to us to use. So use it cheerfully, and maintain it cheerfully. You want to fix your body up in order to be able to use it some more. We should not be trying to fix it up to put it back on the shelf out of harm’s way or to try to make ourselves look like nothing every happened. Your body is a tool. Use it.”

- Rachel Jankovic

Milestones: Over halfway there!

Have a lovely Wednesday all! :)

~M

weekly wednesday update

How far along? 20 weeks 6 days! Since we switched the due date at my last ultrasound, I'm 5 days ahead of where I would have been.

Total weight gain/loss: Haven't weighed myself since my last Tuesday doctor appointment, but as of then, I was up 4 pounds.

Stretch marks? Yes. Sad Face. I thought I was going to escape them, since my mom didn't have them, but nope. I don't have a TON yet, but given that it's only March... well, I expect more.

Maternity clothes? I wore a non maternity sweater today. I thought it looked fine before I left, but now I'm seeing that it's not quite long enough. It fits over the belly, and luckily I wore a long camisole under it. Seems as though they make maternity tops longer for a reason. :)

Sleep: Wish I could say it was lovely, but, it's just so so. Not horrible this week, but not great. I wake up at least every 1.5 hours, because my hips ache from laying on my side. So, I wake up, go to the bathroom, flip over my snoogle pillow, and switch sides.

Best moment this week: Having a stranger offer me their seat on the train! That hasn't happened yet, and though I didn't take the seat (I only had to go a few stops) it was a very good feeling. :)

Movement: I haven't felt anything since the first movement. I think it must be because of my anterior placentas, absorbing some of their movement. I wish I could feel them again though; it's pretty great! All of the books say that you'll feel them for the first time between 18-22 weeks though, so I'm not worried. Plus, less than a week ago, I saw them on the ultrasound moving like crazy. So I know they're movin' around in there. :)

Food cravings: Haven't really had any lately! Still mostly just aversions. Though, I HAVE experienced increased hunger this week; more than I have during any other time in this pregnancy. One minute I'm fine; the next STARVING.

Genders: Definitely Girls. We had another confirmation on Friday by a different doctor. So, that makes 3 Ultrasound techs and 2 doctors that say two girls. I think it's official. :)

Labor Signs: Well, not really. I THINK I've been having some Braxton Hicks contractions? Yesterday when I did some laundry at night, I might have pushed myself a little hard, which can sometimes bring them on. Nothing to worry about because they are totally normal, but it's a weird feeling. Last night they took a lot out of me, and I just rested after I did my laundry.

Belly Button in or out? It's in.

What I miss: Beer. I have never been a big beer drinker at ALL, but lately it sounds good. Whenever Ian orders a nice beer, I ask him if I can smell it. :) I've tried a couple of non-alcoholic beers, but they're no good. They always taste like Budweiser or something to me. Blech.

What I am looking forward to: More baby movement please!

Weekly Wisdom: I'm not feeling particularly wise this week- sorry!

Milestones: Over halfway! And, I think it's a milestone that someone offered me their seat on the train. :)

So, this is usually where I tell you what size fruit my babies compare to, but since we changed the due date, you don't get to hear about fruit sizes until Friday. Friday Fruit Day, as my friend Kristin suggested. :)

Oh- I just realized I never posted the most recent ultrasound photos from last Friday! So, here you go!

Baby A

Baby B

Baby A waving hello!

Happy Wednesday!

~M

a temporary nest

As I’ve mentioned before, we only have a one bedroom apartment, so the girls won’t be having their own nursery for a while. We plan on moving into a two bedroom, but not for many months after they’re born.

So for now, we’ve rearranged furniture in our bedroom, and will have a little temporary nursery corner for them. To be fair, we have a pretty big bedroom, so it should work out pretty well! We’re planning on just using one crib until we move into a larger place; and I hope that is ok. There are completely mixed messages online and in books, and I hate that! I thought I had it all figured out; basically it seems as though they can share a crib as long as they’re tightly swaddled and can’t roll over yet, so that they don’t suffocate each other. But then I got a new twin book recently, and they said to put them in separate cribs. This book didn’t say it was dangerous, but it said they’d sleep better. Anyway, we have options if they don’t sleep well together in the same crib, but I bet they will. I feel like they spent so much time together in utero, they will want to snuggle once they’re out.

We do have a bassinet that our friend Wendy gave us that we could use if we decide not to bed them together. I was planning on putting the bassinet in the living room along with this moses basket I’m about to pick up after work (yay, Craigslist!) for them to nap in during the day:


Also in my craigslist score for today is this rocking chair (I’m getting the basket and the chair for $50):


I know it just looks like a regular rocking chair, but growing up we had the exact same chair! My mom said she used to rock us to sleep in it, so I was excited to find it. I probably won’t put this in the “nursery” for a while, because I’ll need a more stable chair for nursing them, as I’ll be nursing them at the same time. But it will be great in the living room to rock them to sleep. I can’t wait!

I do have other nesting urges, but I’m fighting them for now, because A) it’s too early to do a lot of the things, like wash all the baby clothes and B) I really want to clean and organize, but I’m still just so tired all the time! I start something and then think “Ok. That’s about all I want to do for now.” Anyway, I am planning on doing some spring cleaning/organizing once spring actually arrives. Clean out closets, get rid of things we don’t need, de-clutter in general, and CLEAN. Deep clean things like curtains, upholstery, windows, shelves, cupboards, etc. I know I’ll want everything really clean when they arrive so that I don’t have to worry about it for a while. So, for now, the nesting is just going on in my mind. :)

Once we have our little nursery corner all set up with the crib and everything, I’ll make sure to share. I’m going to try and make it as cute and cozy as a temporary nursery can be. :)

~M

my belly- 20 weeks 1 day- plus other things, too.

I know what you're thinking. But wait! You were just at 19 weeks 1 day on Wednesday! How is it now only two days later, yet you're a week further along? (Oh, you weren't thinking that? You didn't even notice? Well, fine!)

ANYway... we had our second anatomy scan today, and it went just swimmingly. The reason I'm now at 20 weeks 1 day, is because the hospital confirmed that based on when I ovulated, my due date is July 14th, not the 19th like my doctor originally thought. So, I am now OVER halfway there. Wow!

The girls (yep- confirmed for sure they are both for sure girls!) are doing so well. They are measuring perfectly in every way. They measure the heart, the brain, the bones, kidneys, everything! Kind of crazy. The girls were both super active today, and not wanting to sit still to be measured. I mean, why would they? They are too busy swimmin'! And flippin' around! And waving at us! (Baby A totally waved at us! Pictures to come soon- my scanner at work isn't doing the pictures justice.) There is just so much fun to be had in my uterus.

The ultrasound tech also said I had two anterior placentas- which means "in the front" of my uterus. Yes, I realize most of you know what anterior means, vs. posterior, but I had to ask. Anyway, it's totally fine, but it explains why I haven't felt them move since the one time I did on Monday. It's just an extra little cushion to absorb their movement. But I think it's only a matter of a week or so before I start feeling it more often.

Anyway, here's my bathroom pic for the week. I think I'll have to start having Ian take my picture, because these aren't great. It's super hard to get the right angle without blocking your face. I smiled this time. :)

Here's a side by side comparison from last week. It kind of looks the same to me. :) (click to enlarge)

Anyway, once we scan the new ultrasound pics, I'll put those up. Have a lovely weekend everyone!

~M

the best laid plans

So, I’ve been dreaming/planning/thinking about babies and all things associated with pregnancy pretty much since we started officially trying back in June of 2009. Different ideas about many things have come and gone; Nursery designs, diapering options, pregnancy plans, parenting styles, etc. But one thing I’ve always really wanted; was a natural birth. Maybe in a tub, or at a birthing center, most likely with a midwife and a doula. This was something I knew I always wanted, for several reasons. One; I don’t do well with medication, needles, etc. So, any chance to avoid all of that sounds great to me. Also, I like the idea of being able to be aware of my body, and really feel everything. I know, I know. Childbirth is painful, and definitely no picnic. But I really wanted to just be aware of and feel everything.

Well, so far, this whole journey has not turned out as I pictured. I always thought I’d have SOME trouble getting pregnant; but only because of irregular cycles. I didn’t think anything was actually WRONG with me, like PCOS. I thought I just had a wonky cycle. I certainly didn’t think it would take as long as it did to conceive (though I know many others wait MUCH longer); even though I read the statistics about PCOS and conceiving. I knew I could be at higher risk for miscarriage; with the PCOS and then with the Factor V, but I never thought it would actually HAPPEN. I really never wanted to have to take any medication to ovulate, and I also never wanted to do anything like an IUI. Yet, all of these things happened. I had to jump through way more hoops and compromise my “ideal” on most things in order to have what I wanted most; a baby of our own.

Through each step, I’ve been disappointed, and then finally made my peace with it; because it was how it had to be. I did have an AMAZING Reproductive Endocrinologist, Dr. Sami David, so I was truly lucky in that respect. But I did have to adjust my way of thinking of things.

Back to the “one thing I always knew I wanted”; a natural birth. Well, once again, I will have to let this dream go. There are VERY few midwives that would take a twin birth. It’s too risky. So, that’s out. Along with birthing center, and tub birth. I most likely will have to give birth in the Operating Room, because they have to be prepared to do an emergency c-section. Because of THIS, they have to automatically give me an epidural. I’ve not clarified it with my doctor, but in some of the books I’ve read, they place the epidural line, but don’t administer the drugs until absolutely necessary (if I request them or if I have to have an emergency c-section). So, I have to clarify that part with her. Also, with twins, there is slightly less than 50% chance of a c-section, because if the first baby is not head down; you can’t deliver vaginally. I really need to prepare myself mentally for this. I’m WAY more scared of a c-section than I am of a drug free delivery, for many reasons. I don’t like the idea of being sliced open; I don’t like that I can’t hold them right afterwards, and that I have to lay there being sewn up for like an hour afterwards; I don’t like that the recovery time is so much longer; etc.- the list goes on. Honestly though, I will not be taking any chances. I’m too scared to lose my babies to take any chances. So, if my doctor recommends that I do something one way, I’ll do it. She’s great, and has delivered many sets of twins vaginally. So I know she’ll do everything she can to make it happen that way. But- it could go either way, and I need to prepare myself for this.

I think it will probably be the same process I went through to come to terms with all of the things along the way that didn’t “go as planned”. I mean, life rarely goes as planned, which sometimes makes it frustrating, but also makes it thrilling.

I know that no matter how it happens, the outcome will be that I have two new members of our little Fraser family. And that’s pretty much all that matters to me.

~M

weekly wednesday update

How far along? 19 weeks 1 day! Halfway there, since I'll be delivering at 38 weeks!

Total weight gain/loss: Went to the doctor yesterday, and have not gained any weight in the last 3 weeks. So, I'm still up a total of four pounds. She said that she was really happy with this, and that very soon I'll probably start gaining more. I'm still really hoping to keep it around 15-18 pounds of weight gain, but we'll see! It's hard sometimes having to monitor this so closely. I wish I had been a normal weight when I got pregnant so I wouldn't have to worry about it as much, but oh well. So far it's going ok.

Stretch marks? Well...I think I found a tiny one last night. :( I know! I can feel your disappointment. I'm REALLY bummed, too. And, I feel cheated. Because you read all this stuff about how stretch marks are genetic. Well, my mom didn't get any. So, if they're not genetic, then that means I should be able to prevent it with belly cream. But apparently that didn't work either. Way annoyed. I'm going to go get some of this after work today, because it's supposed to be really good. We shall see.

***UPDATE*** Hadn't checked this morning because I was running late. Just checked, and I now have several. I am sad. :( For the stretch marks, and also, because I'm only in my 5th month. 19 weeks to go.... that's a lot of potential for way more stretch marks.

Maternity clothes? I've discovered my pajama pants, though stretchy, aren't really working anymore. They stretch far enough, but I don't like the feeling of the band around my middle, since it's not all soft and forgiving like maternity wear. I may have to go get some maternity jammie bottoms. Or something. It's important to have cozy pants.

Sleep: Well, it has been total crap the last couple of days. The night before last, I woke up at 4:30, and couldn't go back to sleep. Just wide awake. Then last night, I woke up at 2:30; same thing. Also, I was really sore- sore joints and muscles everywhere. Had to get up and go watch TV after trying to sleep for almost an hour. I am quite tired today.

Best moment this week: Feeling the babies move!! So very cool. I felt them move on Monday night. Haven't felt them move since, but now that I've had a taste, I want more! It was pretty darn cool.

Movement: See answer above. Yay, moving babies!

Food cravings: Yesterday I REALLY wanted a cheeseburger. So, I had one. It was tasty. :)

Genders: Still GIRLS! Will get one more confirmation this Friday at our second anatomy ultrasound at the hospital. Just want them to take one more look as I'm in the 20th week now, so there would be very little chance they'd be wrong at this point. Though I really have no doubt that they are girls.

Labor Signs: Nope.

Belly Button in or out? It's in.

What I miss: Still miss clear skin. And not getting completely out of breath when I climb stairs. And sleeping. I miss sleeping.

What I am looking forward to: More baby movement please! :) And my ultrasound on Friday.

Weekly Wisdom: It's kind of hard to think of wise things each week. Not that my "weekly wisdom" has really been that wise up to this point, but you know. I think one thing I'm realizing is that it's just so important to listen to your body; especially now. I think I'm pretty good at it, and I'm getting better. If I'm tired, I just let myself be tired. And it helps when you have a pretty awesome husband who helps you out all the time. :)

Milestones: Halfway point!!! 19 weeks is halfway for me, which is just so crazy!

For the size of the babies this week, my "what to expect" iphone app says that they are the size of small cantaloupes. On Babycenter, it says they are as big as bananas. So, not sure what is more accurate. They both agree though, that they each weigh about 10 ounces, and are 6 1/2 inches crown to rump (10 inches crown to heel!). I'm going to go with the banana, because Babycenter has all these pictures with the quarter next to it, so that you can see scale, and I like that. :)



Also, here's roughly what they look like right now in my belly! :)


Happy Wednesday!

~M

whoa...livin' on a prayer

You know, as in, the Bon Jovi song... where the line before that one is "Whoooaaaa! We're halfway there..."

Anyone?

Anyway.....

Yes- today marks the halfway point of my pregnancy! I am at 19 weeks exactly today, and since my doctor isn't going to let the pregnancy go further than 38 weeks; we're halfway there! Crazy. I honestly can't believe how fast it has gone. I know every single person says that, but it's entirely different when you're experiencing it yourself. I mean, honestly? At the beginning, it was going VERY slowly. Because I was so worried I was going to lose this pregnancy too, that I just wanted to reach a milestone. Please, let me reach the end of the first trimester, so that my risk of miscarrying again will go down. It seemed to take YEARS. And, honestly, though I can't believe I'm already at 19 weeks, sometimes time seems to still drag a bit. Because, I just worry. I don't worry excessively, or all the time, but the more I read about twin (and multiple) pregnancies and the risks, the more I think "oh, man! let's get t0 the end of this so I can see that they're safe!" Though I know that once they're out, a whole new level of worrying will kick in. :) Anyway, for now, I'm pretty darn excited to have made it to the halfway point!

Also.... last night I felt them move!!!! I was laying on the couch watching "How I Met Your Mother" (seriously; how awesome is that show??), and I made Ian pause it, because I felt something weird in my stomach. I laid there in the silence and concentrated, and it was definitely something I'd never felt before. It felt like a twitch, or a flutter. I wasn't convinced though, because it felt like it was too high up. Then, this morning REALLLLLY early, when my body had decided that 5 1/2 hours was PLENTY of sleep and that I didn't need anymore, I felt another movement. This one was different; lower down. It felt like bubbles in my stomach, and it was really crazy and awesome. It only happened when I was on my left side. So, I may not have gotten much sleep last night, but feeling that this morning was WAY worth it.

That's my Tuesday report for you! I have an OBGYN appt. today, so hopefully I'll get a quick ultrasound to see them. :) If not, I have a big ultrasound on Friday where they'll measure them, etc. Can't wait!!

~M

P.S. Oh, and if you can't get that Bon Jovi song out of your head now, sorry 'bout that. But if you're lovin' it, then you can click here and watch the whole thing. I just watched it, and WOW... that HAIR. You're welcome.

my belly- 18 weeks, 3 days

Well, it's not fancy. It's taken at work in the restroom. Klassy, I know. Also, I forgot to smile, because I was so focused on getting it centered. Or maybe I WAS smiling, but my awesome placement of the camera is blocking it. Photographer I am not, it seems. Took lots of not centered ones first. :)

But here she is. A belly in the 19th week of a twin pregnancy. Good lord. It's gonna get a lot bigger folks. Can't say I'm not a little scared of HOW big.



Happiest of weekends to all!

~M

patience

I guess I've always known I wasn't the most patient person around. I wouldn't describe myself as impatient, necessarily, but for certain things, I find it hard to wait.

I am just so happy to be pregnant, and so happy that things are going so well. It makes me excited to plan, and dream, and imagine our lives with two new family members. Ian and I are both so gung-ho about everything planning-wise so far. Because of our dear friend Wendy, we now have a TON of clothes for the girls (also, my mom went a little shopping crazy as well, and I may have purchased a few crazy adorable vintage items). We also got a breast pump from her, a jumper, a baby bouncer seat, and many more things. We purchased a double stroller for the first few months (it's a snap and go frame, and you just snap their car seats on to it) used at an AWESOME price- $75.00; which included the frame and two car seats! So, we have a good start baby gear and clothes.

We also reorganized our room to make more room on one side, so that we can fit the crib (we're going to put them in the same crib for a few months), and a chair. When we get that all set up, we'll post pics. :) It'll be our little interim nursery, until we move into a larger apartment.

I guess what I'm saying, is that we both seem to need this planning right now, because we're too EXCITED not to! Don't get me wrong; I'm not wishing away the time. I want this time when it's still just Ian and I, dreaming about our girls. Because in about 4 1/2 months, things are going to get a lot crazier!

Also, I find myself being anxious for new milestones. Like- I REALLY want to feel them move! I know it will be soon, but I'm so excited for that connection.

I think the fact that we tried to get pregnant for so long, and then had a loss, is really compounding the excitement. We've just been waiting for these two babies for SO long. We're going to love them so much when they're here; they won't know what hit them.

But, we have no choice but to be patient. It's hard, but it's not. We both know this time will go quickly, and it excites and scares us a little.

For now, I'll just keep planning and daydreaming; knowing that the time WILL fly, and they'll be here before we know it- changing our lives forever.

~M

my lack of glow

It's well known that pregnant women are rumored to have a "glow". The pregnancy glow, they call it. Your hair is shiny and bouncy, your skin is clear and glowing, and you are radiant. Also, I think rainbows shoot out of your ears and little bluebirds follow you around.

I seem to have missed the boat on all of these things. So far my hair is the same as always, my skin is the worst it's ever been, and the bluebirds apparently didn't get the memo about following me around; what the hell, bluebirds?

In addition; I started this awesome, sexy thing recently. Snoring. This whole pregnancy (starting like week four) I've been SO congested at night and in the morning, and often times all day. Apparently this is quite common:

"Higher amounts of estrogen during pregnancy can contribute to swelling in the mucous membranes lining the nose and even cause you to make more mucus. What's more, the amount of blood in your body increases and your blood vessels expand during pregnancy, which can lead to swollen nasal membranes as well."

My nose definitely feels swollen and stuffed up on the inside most of the time, making it harder to breathe at night, and apparently; makes me snore. :( Yesterday, I went and got some of those Breathe Right strips, and it did seem to help a little- Ian said he didn't hear me snore. So, I'm hoping that fixes that problem; though the strips themselves aren't very attractive. Especially when you add it to the mouth guard I already wear to not clench my teeth at night, and my giant pregnancy pillow.

Yes, the attractive "pregnancy glow" seems to be something that won't happen for me. But you know what? Honestly; I just don't care. Because I catch a glimpse of my growing belly, and I realize that in 5 months or so, I'll have two little girls in my life, and none of this will matter.

~M

weekly wednesday update

How far along? 15 weeks 1 day

Total weight gain/loss: Not sure. I was supposed to have an OBGYN appointment yesterday to find out, but it got moved to next Tuesday. So, I won't know until then.

Stretch marks? Not yet. I have to admit the vain part of myself is slightly worried about these, as I've seen some pictures of women with red stretch marks covering their entire belly. But- if it happens, it happens! :)

Maternity clothes? Yep! I bought a dress WAY on sale at Ann Taylor Loft. It was the last one! I wore it yesterday and it's super cute:

Then, yesterday I bought a whole bunch of stuff from the Gap and Old Navy online, courtesy of my mom, and my friends Miriam and Alex and their generous gift cards. :) Can't wait for it all to arrive!

Sleep: Still decent. I still wake up about 3-4 times to pee a night, but always fall back asleep right away.

Best moment this week: My friend Wendy gave me a TON of hand me down baby gear. Seriously; it was so generous. It was so fun looking at it all stacked in my living room imagining that soon we'll have two babies to use it!

Movement: Nope. I think this is still 3-4 weeks away.

Food cravings: This week the only craving I had was I REALLY wanted birthday cake one night. Not just regular cake, but birthday cake. The kind that comes in sheet cakes and has that really sugary frosting. :) I didn't have any of course, but I sure wanted some.

Genders: Not yet, but check out the sidebar to the left and vote for your predictions! Right now boy/girl is in the lead.

Labor Signs: Nope- thank goodness!

Belly Button in or out? It's in. I think this is an odd question. Maybe I won't think it's odd when it's finally out.

What I miss: Still not really missing much. I guess I miss not being so tired, and the occasional glass of wine.

What I am looking forward to: My ultrasound in TWO days! I can't wait. It's an early anatomy scan, so it should be a long one. Yay- can't wait to see you, babies!

Weekly Wisdom: If you have a problem or need advice, ask the Internet! I got lots of great suggestions to my protein post. Thanks, guys! :)

Milestones: None for me really, but according to my "what to expect when expecting" app on my phone, the babies ear bones are in place by this week, so they can hear us now! That's exciting.

Also, this week, the babies are the size of avocados. This does not seem significantly bigger than last week's orange, but I think it's more about the length. 4-5 inches and each weighs 3 to 5 oz.



In other news, It's snowing like crazy here in New York today, and it's really pretty. And Ian and I are going to a Liz Phair concert tonight; babies' first concert! And now I know they'll be able to hear it, so I hope it's a good one. :)

~M

*photos found here and here

putting us first

On days like today, when work and personal life are stressful and hectic, it's easy for me to forget to take as good care of myself as I should. Drink enough water, take enough breaks to get up and walk around (I sit all day at work), eat enough, etc.

I think part of it is just going in to auto pilot a bit. As I'm in to my second trimester, I do have a TINY bit more energy than I did in my first. So, sometimes during the day, if things are crazy, I can forget for a minute that I'm pregnant. I mean, I don't forget so completely that I start doing tequila shooters or anything; I just stop taking great care of myself. This doesn't happen that often, but today was one of those days.

At the end of the day, I realized I hadn't had enough water. And it made me stop and realize I just need to always put myself and my two little passengers first. I need to realize that it's going to be the last time in my life for quite a while where I have the luxury to do so. Not to mention, it's for a very important reason; the health and well-being of myself, as a pregnant woman carrying twins, and of course for the twins themselves.

So tonight, since I'm tired- instead of going home and cooking dinner- I'm ordering in (from a very healthy place just down the road). I'm going to drink lots of water. I'm going to do some tidying in our bedroom; not because I should, but because it will make me feel better. I'm going to put on my pajamas quite a bit earlier than usual, watch some TV and snuggle with my husband. Then I'll go to bed early and get a good night's sleep (well, except for the four or five times I wake up to pee). :)

Because right now, taking care of me needs to be my top priority.

~M

make your predictions!

Well, we still have about 4 weeks left until we can find out the sex of the babies- which means you all have time to make your predictions! I've put a little poll off to the left sidebar; so vote away!

I honestly have no clue at this point; but I thought it'd be fun to see what you all think. :)

~M

my protein problem

So, it seems that when you're pregnant with twins, you have to have more protein in your diet than you would with one baby. When I first heard this, I didn't think this was going to be a problem, but frankly, it's been the hardest part about eating while pregnant so far.

You see, I'm not a huge fan of meat. I mean, I eat it, but it's not always my favorite. And for some reason, lately? It sounds really not good. I think it sounds better if I don't make it myself, but in general, it just doesn't sound good. And meat has one of the highest concentrations of protein.

I'm supposed to have 90-120 grams of protein a day. This is a lot, people! I mean, one egg? Has only 7 grams of protein. And also? I don't really like eggs. They're okay... but, I kind of have to choke them down. And then I was like "oh! Peanut butter! It has protein!" Yeah... but only 4 grams per tablespoon. On top of it all, I have to restrict my calories to 1800 a day, since I started out this pregnancy with extra weight. So, it's not like I can just carry around a jar of peanut butter and a spoon and just eat that all day. Also, I'd need at minimum, 22.5 tablespoons of peanut butter to get my daily requirement, and, well, that might get old.

Normally, I'd eat turkey sandwiches for lunch, because I like those, but you're not supposed to have cold deli meat when you're pregnant because of the risk of the bacteria listeria. You can sidestep this worry by this by microwaving your deli meat first to kill the possible listeria, but that just grosses me out. I don't know why. I know my friend Kristin is rolling her eyes :) but I think it's gross.

Anyway, I'm just having a really hard time feeling like I'm eating enough protein while also keeping my calories down to 1800. Also, I think my uterus is already starting to smoosh my stomach and not leave much room for food, as I get full WAY faster now. Which makes it all the more difficult to eat enough protein.

I DID get some protein bread, and it has 14 grams per slice. So, I suppose I should make sure I have a couple of slices of that per day. For a while I was having smoothies for breakfast with protein powder, but that got tiresome. I think I'll have to go back to that though, as I'm running out of ideas.

I mostly get worried that I'm not getting enough and maybe it's affecting my babies. That's the worst of all! So, I think I'll just have to try and be extra diligent and maybe just not have the most varied diet for the next 5 months or so. Gotta feed those babies what they need!

~M

weekly wednesday update

Whoa- did you know? Weeks go by fast! I feel like I JUST did an update. And, really, not a lot has changed, but I said I'd do a weekly update, so here we go!

How far along? 14 weeks 1 day

Total weight gain/loss: Not sure. I'll see on Tuesday. Again, as of my last appt. I had only gained one pound.

Stretch marks? Negatory. I'm slathering on this super yummy smelling stretch mark prevention oil that my friend Jamie got me, once or twice a day. Don't know if it actually helps, but hey, it can't hurt.

Maternity clothes? No new ones, but my mom and my sweet friends Alex and Miriam sent me gift cards to do some shopping; so I'm definitely going to do that this week!

Sleep: Decent. I wake up about 3-4 times to pee a night, but always fall back asleep right away. I have my snoogle which helps me stay laying on my side, which you have to do starting in your 2nd trimester.


Best moment this week: realizing that I really am starting to show. I know that strangers probably wouldn't notice; but I can. :)

Movement: Nope.

Food cravings: No, not really. Though I still really struggle with not wanting to eat meat. I'm supposed to have a LOT of protein, and though there are a lot of non meat sources of it out there, meat is one of the best ways to get it. So, I need to try harder to get enough of that in my diet.

Genders: Don't know just yet. Probably will in the next 3-4 weeks though.

Labor Signs: Nope- thank goodness!

Belly Button in or out? Still very much in.

What I miss: I can't say I miss too much yet. I guess if I had to choose, it'd be sleeping on my stomach. I still can, but it's not nearly as comfortable. Plus, I know that sleeping on my left side is the best for the babies, so I do that as much as I can.

What I am looking forward to: My next ultrasound! I have one on January 28th- the anatomy scan-, and possibly one at my OBGYN appt. on the 25th.

Weekly Wisdom: Sleep is important. I didn't get enough the last two nights, and I feel it. This will become a top priority, along with the protein thing.

Milestones: Over a third of the way there! :)

Also, this week, the babies are the size of navel oranges! 4.5 inches and each weighs about 2 to 3 oz.

That's this week's update! I hope I have more to report next week. :)

~M

*photos found here and here

baby loot

So, I thought I'd do a quick little post of the loot these babies have accumulated thus far. It's not much; which is just fine, as we don't have a ton of room to store said loot; but we have a few things.

To be honest; some of the stuff we have was given to us/purchased during my first pregnancy. After I miscarried, we put it all away, as I really didn't want to keep seeing it. But, once this pregnancy seemed to be going along smoothly, we decided to bring it out. We also decided that our little blueberry would be happy to share his loot with the twins. So, here we go!

First off, we have this cute little blue whale bath toy that Ian bought the day we found out I was pregnant. You can read about that here. It's really cute, and we've named him Blueberry the whale:


Next we have two baby towels from my sister-in-law, Jody. One is a hooded towel, and the other a regular one. I love the cute frogs:


Then there's this adorable bib from my friend Kristin:


I bought this little vintage baby jacket in a moment of weakness. They wouldn't be able to wear it until at least 6 months I'd think, but it's pretty cute. However, due to the bow in the lower left corner, if we don't have at least one girl, it will probably have to go to someone else. Pretty cute though!


I also bought these during my first pregnancy. I walked by Papyrus and saw them in the window, and thought they'd be so cute to decorate a nursery with:

And lastly, also from Jody, two pairs of hand knit booties, made with love by her! So cute!

Just a few things, but it makes me happy to look at all of these little things and imagine that they'll be here in about 5 1/2 months!

~M

clothes!

So, even though it’s still a little early for some maternity clothes, I am starting to show a very tiny bit, so I’m starting to look around a little. I am wearing maternity jeans, and maternity work pants, though both are still a tiny bit big (I’m sure not for long!).

I’m not looking for very specific things yet, but here are a few cute things that caught my eye:

Gray tunic from Nordstrom

Gray striped sweater from Nordstrom

Sequin shoulder dress from Nordstrom

Lilac raglan sweater from Gap

Watercolor graphic tee from Old Navy

Tunic from Old Navy

Pink and white striped shirt from Old Navy

I don’t need all of these things of course, and couldn’t afford a couple of them, but it’s fun to look! There are lots of cute places that have maternity clothes, but unfortunately, they either a) don’t have my size, or b) are REALLY pricey. So, I think it will be a lot of Gap/Old Navy stuff.

I also think I’ll do some ebay shopping for used maternity clothes, because honestly, women sometimes sell almost brand new stuff, since you don’t always wear certain items for very long. So I’ll keep my eye out for that too. I love a deal!

This weekend I’m going to go through my closet again. The first time I was pregnant, I went through it and put the clothes that wouldn’t fit me for a while into vacuum seal bags. I think I’ll have more to add due to the totally different season. I think once I do that I’ll realize just how few clothes I will have fairly soon; but it will be nice to have all the stuff that won’t fit me out of the way.

I honestly think that this bump is going to grow pretty fast. I know it tends to sneak up on you anyway, but then you add another baby into the mix and I bet it grows faster than I can imagine. So, gotta make room in the closet now!

Have a lovely 3 day weekend everyone!

~M