rollercoaster numbers

Well, just got my hCG levels back. As a recap, here's how they were going:

Week 4- (7/29)- 462
Week 5- (8/2)- 2000
Week 5- (8/5)- 2996
Week 6- (8/9)- 3153

So today, we add to it with:

Week 6- (8/12)- 2851

Yes, you're reading that correctly; it went down. Not a lot, but it's not supposed to go down yet. Oh, sure, they say that later on in the pregnancy the numbers start to drop off, but we are NOT there yet. That is supposed to happen MUCH later.

The nurse told me not to worry too much, since we had such a good sonogram this week. But how can I not worry? I've made the decision to stop googling "low hCG in early pregnancy" and stuff like that. Because it rarely says good things. And it's sure not helping.

Anyway, I go in for another ultrasound on the 19th, and I repeat my bloods on Monday. I'm normally anxious to get my blood results back, but at this point I'm not, since they don't seem to be cooperating. I'm anxious for Thursday though; I want to see my little blob and it's little heartbeat again. I want to see that it's growing and that all is well; despite my body's desire to not follow proper protocol.

~M

cautious optimism

So, the little sweet pea has been giving us some worries lately. As I mentioned earlier, I have been going in twice weekly to get blood drawn to measure my hCG levels. For those of you not up on pregnancy lingo, here you go:

The hormone human chorionic gonadotropin (better known as hCG) is produced during pregnancy. It is made by cells that form the placenta, which nourishes the egg after it has been fertilized and becomes attached to the uterine wall. Levels can first be detected by a blood test about 11 days after conception and about 12 - 14 days after conception by a urine test. In general the hCG levels will double every 72 hours. The level will reach its peak in the first 8 - 11 weeks of pregnancy and then will decline and level off for the remainder of the pregnancy.

So, when you take a pregnancy test, that's what the test is looking for; hCG. And as it mentions above, hCG continues to rise (and hopefully double) every 72 hours. So far my levels went like this:

Week 4- (7/29)- 462
Week 5- (8/2)- 2000
Week 5- (8/5)- 2996
Week 6- (8/9)- 3153

So, as you can see, between weeks 4 and 5 we did ok, but then it started to slow way down. This is generally NOT a good sign. It often means that the pregnancy may not continue. HOWEVER, then you also read stuff like this online:

• In a bout 85% of normal pregnancies, the hCG level will double every 48 - 72 hours. As you get further along in pregnancy and the hCG level gets higher, the time it takes to double can increase to about every 96 hours.

• Caution must be used in making too much of hCG numbers. A normal pregnancy may have low hCG levels and result in a perfectly healthy baby. The results from an ultrasound after 5 - 6 weeks gestation are much more accurate than using hCG numbers.

So maybe we're the other 15% of normal pregnancies where the hCG level WON'T double? GAH. It's really maddening and stressful.

HOWEVER, also, as it mentioned in the 2nd bullet point; the results from the ultrasound at 5-6 weeks are more accurate. Well, it just so happens that I had an ultrasound yesterday. They were checking to make sure the blood flow to the uterus was good and to make sure the pregnancy was in the uterus. Well, the blood flow is just fine and the pregnancy is in the uterus. Also, she said size wise, it's measuring at about 5 weeks 6 days; which is where it should be. ALSO, I saw the heart beat! I couldn't hear it yet, because it's way too small, but I saw it and it was WAY cool. Which is so great, because we were SO worried on Monday night; just really sick with worry.

Anyway, my doctor is advising that we proceed with "cautious optimism". Which, sort of doesn't make me feel any better. I mean- it WAS reassuring to see the little heart fluttering (and also just pretty damn cool) but oh, hCG, why aren't you cooperating?

We'll see what my levels are tomorrow- I'm hoping for a huge jump. If you feel so inclined; send good thoughts our way!

~M

a wee bit bruisey

So, as you may or may not remember, I have to give myself a shot every morning of a blood thinner called Lovenox, in order to counteract my blood clotting disorder, Factor V Leiden.
This freaked me out at first, but has turned out to not be a big deal at all. The only bummer thing that has happened recently, was they upped my dosage to 6omg from 40mg, and the needle is a little thicker in the 60mg. :( With the 40mg one, I literally couldn't even feel the needle going in, but now with the 60mg, I can feel it. Oh well. It's still not THAT bad.

One side effect though, (besides the minor burning feeling for a few minutes afterwards) is the bruising. I have bruises all over my tummy, the biggest one being the first shot I got. I think I must have hit a capillary when I did that one, because it sure is hanging around.

I wanted to show you what my belly looked like all bruised but I didn't want to subject you to my pudgy tummy forgot to take a picture this morning. So, I decided I'd do a google search for a belly that looked like mine, and illustrate how it looks when it's all bruisey. I used the very accurate "Microsoft Paint" to show you where my bruises are, and since these abs pretty much look exactly like mine, it paints a pretty accurate picture:

See how I smartly made them purple and blue? Isn't it EERIE how much they look exactly like bruises? I know- I'm an artiste.

Anyway, I think soon I'll have to start using my thigh, because I'm running out of spots to poke on my tummy. But honestly? I'd give myself 20 shots a day for this wee little sweet pea (it's the size of a sweet pea now!) I've got growing inside me. Worth every poke.

~M

waiting and worrying

For the next two weeks I have to go in twice a week and get blood drawn. I've already gone twice this week, so only two more weeks to go. They are checking to make sure my HCG (pregnancy hormone) and progesterone levels are rising appropriately. Last Thursday my HCG was 496 and then on Monday morning it was over 2000, so those numbers are rising appropriately. Apparently it's supposed to double every 36 hours or so. However, though my progesterone was normal on Thursday, it was low on Monday, so they increased my dosage of progesterone pills to 3 times per day instead of 2. I went in this morning to get my levels checked again, and I'll find out this afternoon.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried. Low progesterone levels can mean something might possibly be going wrong. Both my PCOS and my Factor V can increase the risk of something going wrong (I really am trying not to use the "m" word), and I'm only in week 5. The risk goes down once I reach the 2nd trimester, but that's still like 8 weeks away. I keep telling myself that if something goes wrong this time that it's ok, because at least I know I can get pregnant! BUT, I think I won't feel that ok with it if it were to happen. I just keep hoping and praying that my little guy or girl just can hold on in there.

Anyway, I just hope I'm worrying unnecessarily. And yes, I realize that worrying isn't going to help anything. But, when you want something so badly, it's hard not to.

I'll let y'all know what my levels are this afternoon once I get them. Cross your fingers!

~M

***UPDATE*** My HCG is 2996 and my progesterone is normal again at 43. The HCG didn't rise as much as last time, but she said it was within the normal range. SO... less worrying for now. :) I have a sonogram scheduled for Tuesday. It's simply to make sure the pregnancy is in the uterus (vs. the fallopian tubes) and to check blood flow to the uterus. There will not be a heartbeat yet, so the nurse told me not to panic about that. :)

cough, puff, achoo!

Living in any city, you're exposed to so many elements during your day; and this is especially true in a city the size of New York.

I ride the subway to and from work every day, and door-to-door, it's about an hour each way. This means I come in contact with A LOT of people daily- many of whom are more germy than others. Sneezing, coughing, hacking. Now, this has always grossed me out to a certain degree- but now I'm more worried about my wee little orange seed in mah belly! I feel like yelling, "hey, dude- cover your mouth! I'm growin' a human here!"

Also something I'm MUCH more aware of as I walk down the crowded streets- smokers. I always try and walk faster than them so that they don't blow their gross smoke right in my face- but now that I have a baby to protect, I'm even more aware of it. I often hold my breath if passing by a smoker, so I don't breathe it in. Yuck!

One thing I know- my hand sanitizer has become a very helpful staple in my purse. :)

~M

Photo found here

workin' it out

So, it's very important to me to be as healthy as possible during this pregnancy, because I'm starting out overweight (Whee!). I want to be healthy for me, and I want to be healthy for my little one. I want to avoid gestational diabetes at all costs, so I'm eating very, very healthily, and as soon as I get the ok from my doctor, I'm going to start exercising. I'm already doing some walking, but I want to make sure before I do anything else, that I get the "all clear".

For exercising, I've always done the best with videos. They're right there in your house, nobody else can see you, and there's a beginning and an end- which helps me to not quit early.

Anyway, a LONG time ago (when we first started trying to conceive and I had no clue we'd run into issues), I bought a pregnancy yoga DVD. And then just a couple of days ago, I ordered two more tapes off of Amazon- and I'm excited about them for very different reasons.

This first one by Summer Sanders is just supposed to be very good, and it has exercises for each trimester- which I liked:

This Kathy Smith one I got in VHS form, for $3.95 on Amazon. Yes, I still have a VCR. It was all brand new in it's shrink wrapped plastic! From 1989....

And the best part of the Kathy Smith workout? THERE'S A RAP SECTION, YOU GUYS. And I've seen the video of it before, but it seems as though it's been removed from the internet- which is a MAJOR bummer, b/c it's hilarious. Here's a blurry screen shot I found online:

They put lyrics on the bottom of the screen so that you can rap along. Which I can guarantee I will be doing each time. One line I remember QUITE well from the rap when I saw the video clip: "You'll get much more from your pelvic floor, when you pass on the bagel and do one more kegel!"

No, I'm serious.

I can't wait! :)

~M

overboard?

Well, maybe a little. But I already owned them all! So, I had to use them, right? I mean, what a waste to not use them. Also, I've had so few symptoms, it's nice and reassuring to see the two lines (even though they were super light in the second picture) or the "Pregnant" again. I also had another blood test on Thursday to check my Beta hCG levels (doctor's orders- will do that for the next 3 weeks 2x per day) and again today. They were good on Thursday at 462. Well, the nurse said that was a good number, and when I googled it, google seemed to agree.

I haven't had TOO many symptoms yet, but I've had a few. I'm always kind of tired, no matter how much sleep I get, I've had some mild nausea, my face broke out (whee!) and I've had a little heartburn. But all of these have been sort of mild and not constant yet. So, so far so good. I have to say- I kind of love the symptoms. I get a little sad when they subside. They are a nice reminder that "yep! Still pregnant!" I know that all of you out there that are pregnant or have been pregnant understand what I mean about this. It's just so early, and I'm so concerned about my little tiny one making it through the first trimester, so I love the symptoms, b/c they're reassuring.

I'm supposed to have an ultrasound early next week to make sure that the little guy has implanted in the right place (uterus, not fallopian tube) and to check blood flow to the uterus. Then, 10 days after that, I'm going in for another ultrasound to hear the heartbeat! That will be very very exciting. :)

My appointment with the hematologist was uneventful. She was very nice and said that indeed I would be on Lovenox (and then later Heparin) for my entire pregnancy. She also said she'd monitor my pregnancy the whole way with my OB (whenever I finally pick one. um, gotta get on that). So, it's comforting to know that someone will be watching over that.

Oh, also, poppyseed has graduated to an orange seed. :) They grow up so fast.

~M