waiting and worrying

For the next two weeks I have to go in twice a week and get blood drawn. I've already gone twice this week, so only two more weeks to go. They are checking to make sure my HCG (pregnancy hormone) and progesterone levels are rising appropriately. Last Thursday my HCG was 496 and then on Monday morning it was over 2000, so those numbers are rising appropriately. Apparently it's supposed to double every 36 hours or so. However, though my progesterone was normal on Thursday, it was low on Monday, so they increased my dosage of progesterone pills to 3 times per day instead of 2. I went in this morning to get my levels checked again, and I'll find out this afternoon.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried. Low progesterone levels can mean something might possibly be going wrong. Both my PCOS and my Factor V can increase the risk of something going wrong (I really am trying not to use the "m" word), and I'm only in week 5. The risk goes down once I reach the 2nd trimester, but that's still like 8 weeks away. I keep telling myself that if something goes wrong this time that it's ok, because at least I know I can get pregnant! BUT, I think I won't feel that ok with it if it were to happen. I just keep hoping and praying that my little guy or girl just can hold on in there.

Anyway, I just hope I'm worrying unnecessarily. And yes, I realize that worrying isn't going to help anything. But, when you want something so badly, it's hard not to.

I'll let y'all know what my levels are this afternoon once I get them. Cross your fingers!

~M

***UPDATE*** My HCG is 2996 and my progesterone is normal again at 43. The HCG didn't rise as much as last time, but she said it was within the normal range. SO... less worrying for now. :) I have a sonogram scheduled for Tuesday. It's simply to make sure the pregnancy is in the uterus (vs. the fallopian tubes) and to check blood flow to the uterus. There will not be a heartbeat yet, so the nurse told me not to panic about that. :)