giant potatoes, acid, and Haley Joel Osment

So, this title may have thrown you off a bit, but I assure you, all 3 of these things are relevant to today's post. You just have to be patient.

So, I had my second ultrasound of the week, and my follicles are MATURE. Like, so mature, they must have read this article. They grew from 15mm on Monday to a whopping 20mm today. Two of them! Double the chances! (Ok, I don't actually know if that's true, but in my mind, it makes sense. Two eggs are better than one... or something. Right?) ANYway...

Ok, plug your ears, mom... TMI coming up. So, the good doctor told me in my appointment on Monday that Tuesday night he wanted me to get "romantic" with my husband (snicker, snicker- their word) so that he could do a post coital test to see how the sperms were surviving. Remember last time when it turns out I'm all acidic and I kill the sperms, but then later on we fixed the issue with a little baking soda? Well, yesterday I totally used the baking soda solution before the romanticism ensued, and apparently it didn't work. Because he did another post coital test this morning, and I'm all acidic again! AND, he looked at the sperms again under a microscope and they're all dead. I am killing them again apparently. :( I mean, it doesn't TOTALLY matter, because an IUI bypasses all the acidic areas, but still. Annoying! Because if the IUI isn't successful this time, we certainly can't afford to keep doing it that way. So, I will have to figure out how to be less acidic.

One way is to eat alkaline foods. All meat is acidic, so that would be out. Which isn't a huge deal, because I don't eat a ton of meat anyway. I decided to try to be alkaline at lunch today, so I ordered a baked potato (alkaline) and an all fruit smoothie. Fruit is alkaline as well. I was too cold to order a salad. Sounds like a lovely, light lunch, right? Um, guys, check out the potato they sent me:

It's GINORMOUS! I left the fork there for scale. It's huge! I ate a third of it and then sadly had to toss the rest.

Oh, and here's my smoothie:

Nothing special about it, just was in a dorky picture taking mood today. :) Smoothie! Smoothie! That's kind of fun to say. No, I'm not drunk.

So, ANYway...back to the inner workings of my lady parts.

As I mentioned, my follicles are super mature, and so they gave me a trigger shot (in the muscle of my bum- ow!) of hCG to force the eggs to pop out. I am supposed to ovulate in the next 24-48 hours. Which means, tomorrow is IUI day! Huzzah! Paper confetti, balloons! I'm trying to psych myself up about it, because I'm nervous and worried it won't work. So, I'm psyching myself up- wahooo!

Ok, lastly. Are you wondering about Haley Joel Osment? I bet you were. I bet you read this whole post and were like "that bitch isn't going to tell us the significance of Haley Joel Osment in the title of this post! Did she see him today? Are they secret lovers? what is going ON??" Ok, well, first of all- Calm down! Jeez. Alright. So, the nurse this morning was writing down my appointment in their appointment planner. I watched her write it, and she wrote "AI- Mariah Fraser". I was confused. AI? What is that? Isn't that a movie? Starring Mr. Haley Joel Osment? So, I asked her what "AI" stood for- and she told me: "Artificial Insemination". OHHHH. Duh. Then I was like "All I could think of was that movie, AI, with that kid from the Sixth Sense." And then I laughed, because I thought it was funny. Not funny ha ha, so much, but you know. She did not. She just stared at me. So, I grabbed my bag and split.

Ok, this was a weird post, but I think you got all the general information of the goings on right now. Tomorrow morning at 10am Eastern, they will attempt to artificially knock me up. Cross your fingers that it works.

~M