grrrrrrr.

Day 40.

No ovulation.

Come ON!

Way annoyed.

BUT- I do have jury duty today and am strangely excited. I hope I get picked because we're in a criminal court so it would be a criminal case. And if you know me, you know I love all the Law and Order shows, so, yeah, I'm excited. YES, I realize it won't be as exciting as TV, but I'm a nerd so I think it would be cool.

Anyway, it's sort of distracting me from the fact that it's day 40 and I haven't ovulated yet.

Sort of.

~M

if wishes were fishes

So, today I found a blog that had all of these birth stories, which I think are always fun to read. I just like hearing all the different experiences women have and all of the different perspectives. However, in a few of the stories I read today, I found myself getting a little jealous. No, not of the pregnancies themselves (though- yes, I DO want to get pregnant eventually), but of the “surprise!” pregnancies.

You see, I doubt that there will ever come a day, where I’m casually thinking “My! I don’t feel well, and haven’t for a couple of weeks! Oh! And whaddya know! I’ve missed my period!” Cut to me in the drugstore, and then taking a test, and calling Ian saying “You’ll never believe it! I’m pregnant! I didn’t see this coming at all!”

Don’t get me wrong, I know that I’ll be super excited when I finally do get pregnant, but I do sort of wish that someday there could be an actual “surprise” baby. I kind of feel like it’s sort of like knowing a marriage proposal is coming before it does. Yes, you’re happy that you’re getting engaged, but you already knew it was coming!

Anyway; I’m not trying to say that one way is better than the other. Just sometimes I wish I didn’t have to be so aware and deliberate about it all.

I do know though, that in the end, it won’t matter how it happened. I’ll just be thrilled to have my little one in my arms.

~M

fasting and bruising

So, this morning I had to fast until I went in to the lab at 11:30 to get blood drawn. Now, there have been plenty of days I didn't eat breakfast or didn't eat until like 10:00 or 10:30 if I got caught up at work and just didn't have time. But for some reason waiting until 11:30 today was really hard. Probably psyched myself out a bit. I was SO hungry! Anyway, they are testing my glucose, insulin and blood type. So, we'll see! I ate as soon as I got back and now I'm TIRED. Yawnnnn......

Also, I got blood taken at my last appt. (on Wednesday with Super D) and the nurse like mangled my arm (click to enlarge):

Ow! It totally hurts still. What's that? You can't really see the bruise because you're totally blinded by my pasty white not-toned arms? Hmph. Well, it's there, trust me.

Anyway, today the other arm was used and so far it looks like she did better- no bruise yet. But you can see the needle hole:

What's that? You think I'm a big baby for posting pictures of my tiny injuries? Well, first of all, aren't we rude today, and second of all, ppbbbbbbbbbbttttttt!

ALSO- it's only Monday? How is this possible? Gah.

Also Also, I have jury duty this week! I'm kind of excited about it! I know, that's dorky, but something about it always seems kind of exciting. It's on Thursday and I'd guess Friday too, but I don't know yet.

I'll bring my laptop with me though, so DON'T YOU WORRY! I'll still be able to post. I know. For a second you were all like "WHAT??? But if she's in jury duty, how will we get access to updated photos of her pasty white arms?" But no fear. I'll still be around.

~M

P.S. In case you're keeping track- day 37- no ovulation. sigh.

mother's day

I thought today was going to be a hard day, simply because I want to be a mother so badly, and haven't been able to yet. But, it wasn't. Instead, I celebrate all of the moms in my life; my wonderful friends, my beautiful sister, my amazing mother-in-law and of course- my own incredible mother. Thank you all for all you do!

I love you, Mom! And Happy Mother's Day to you all!



~ M

a fresh outlook (aka- super doctor; the visit)

So, as you may have heard, I met with an new Dr. yesterday. Super Doctor, as I referred to him here. I asked him if we could call him that, or maybe if we could just call him Super D, but he wasn't down with that.*

Anyway, we got in there and he was down to business right away. Many, many questions (some REALLY personal)were asked. He had all of my paperwork that I had mailed in in April in front of him with tons of notes. You guys, he had little tabs on different pages and expertly and quickly flipped back and forth between pages. He also had some things memorized! Crazy. He had really looked this stuff over before our visit, so that was really nice to see.

So, what did he say, you ask? Well, first of all, thanks for asking! I'll tell you!

1. He said first and foremost, even though I don't ovulate regularly or as often as I should, I DO ovulate, and that is a really good thing. Not all women who have PCOS ovulate, so I'm happy that I do.

2. My thyroid is under active. I've known this, but my ObGyn said she didn't want to put me on thyroid, because she didn't think it was under active enough. He said that it was, and that most likely he will put me on a low dose of thyroid medication. He also said that this could make a big difference for me.

3. I might have been pregnant in January. Basically he said that my temperature chart did the initial spike, and then it went up again, which is often indicative of a pregnancy. I had some serious pregnancy symptoms that month, but I was also taking progesterone, so I thought that was what was causing the weird symptoms. But he said I may very well have been pregnant, and it just didn't "stick". Crazy. I'm not really sad about this, because if I WAS pregnant, I didn't know about it.

So, now we're moving forward with testing and waiting for results to see where we go from here. He took some blood to test my testosterone levels (because those had not been previously tested, and if I have an excess amount, that would really mess with things too) and I'll go in next week to get some blood drawn to test my fasting glucose. Basically, women with PCOS are often insulin resistant, but not always. My previous doc didn't test my glucose and just put me on metformin without checking if I WAS insulin resistant. So, he told me to stop taking it for now. If it turns out that I am, we may just have to do a higher dose. (Which kind of sucks, because metformin often makes me really nauseated.)

Ian is also getting his sperm tested again at a fancy pants lab that specializes in semen analysis. I'm sure they're still going to show up as the strongest-best-most-handsomest-sperm-on-the-planet, but better safe than sorry.

Anyway, we're just going to wait for those test results, and go from there. I will most likely be on clomid and either metformin or something else along with a thyroid medication for my next cycle.

It honestly at first was hard for me to leave the office and realize it was just more WAITING... but I know that's how this works. I am happy though, that I've got someone who really knows what he's doing.

That's it! I'll be updating as I get more news! I'm a little sad for more waiting but excited that we now have a new person looking at our situation, and I hope we start to see some results!

Now if I would only ovulate....

~ M




* I didn't do this. But it would have been funny. But, sadly, I didn't. I wanted to, but Ian said I couldn't. What a killjoy.

more good advice

Hey guys- the bump.com did it again. Sage advice for getting ready to conceive.

Number one on THIS list is:

1. Learn your womanly bits.

.....
........

Um, I think this is where I've gone wrong. I had no clue I had "bits" that I had to learn.

~M

p.s. Tomorrow is my super doctor visit! Woo hoo! :)

honesty

I was recently given an award from Michele of the the lady is in. An award you guys! :) It's an honesty award, and because I won this award, I'm supposed to tell you 10 things about myself. I'm guessing it has to be 10 honest things. I mean, that would make sense given the title of the award. Hmm. I'm also guessing since I have like 3 readers, that you all know these 10 things, but here goes:

1. My middle name is Anne. Please don't forget the "e".

2. I used to drive a really awesome 1970 light yellow VW Beetle. I wish I had known anything about VW's to keep it running, because it was a super cute car- I loved it. But it broke down a LOT.

3. I love the city, but I'd really like to live in the country some day. Not SO far out that I couldn't get to a fairly decent sized town in under an hour though.

4. I also fantasize about living in a small town. But in my mind, the small town is extremely quaint and everyone knows everyone and is fabulously quirky. I MAY have watched too many episodes of Gilmore Girls. (But seriously guys, if you haven't seen that show, it's AWESOME. And I want to live in Stars Hollow.)

5. A few years back, I started painting my fingernails and toes bright cherry red. Now, on the rare occasion that I get a manicure or a pedicure, I find it hard to choose any other color.

6. When I see a kitty, it's REALLY hard for me not to pick it up. Even when people are like "oh, they don't really like to be picked up. " I usually try anyway. I love kitties. Even if they bite me.

7. I am 1/4 Lumbee Indian.

8. I have a new pet peeve since moving to New York; cutting your fingernails in public. It's just not ok, you guys. Just not ok.

9. I think it would be fun to live in so many parts of the world. I'd love to live in Northern California some day, or Arizona or New Mexico (because I think deserts are beautiful), or Maine, because I'd love to live on the beach in Maine. Italy, Ireland, London, Paris… so many places, so little time! I probably won't get to live all these places, but I sure hope to visit.

10. I am so excited to someday be a mother. And I'm excited for every stage; babies, toddlers, kindergarten, family vacations, school dances, high school, college… all of it. I just am so looking forward to it.

Thanks, Michele!

~M