breastfeeding update

So, I figure that as my girls grow and they start eating more, I'll continue to update on how the breastfeeding is going; since it has changed so much already- it's bound to keep changing.

As of right now, things are going really well. (knock on wood.) When I first started breastfeeding they were still really little, and since they were premature, the pediatrician didn't want them to breastfeed for longer than 10 minutes at a time, since it was so much work for them. Basically, it was so hard for them that they'd be burning all the calories they ate if they breastfed longer; so it would be counter productive.

So, in those first few weeks, they breastfed for no more than 10 minutes, and then we'd give them a bottle of either pumped breast milk, or formula (if we were out of pumped breast milk). I HATED giving them formula. I know that there's nothing wrong with it- because the first rule is feed your babies- but there's such PRESSURE out there to only feed babies breast milk.

I pumped after every feeding. It sucked and was exhausting and painful, but I was trying to do everything I could to increase my milk supply. Usually I pumped just enough to give them their bottles for the next feeding. However, if they ever wanted more, that was when we had to supplement with formula.

I started reading everything I could online about increasing milk production. I bought a book on increasing milk supply and a book about breastfeeding twins. I started taking Fenugreek (an herbal supplement that is supposed to increase milk supply) and eating oatmeal almost every day (which is also, strangely, supposed to increase your supply). I tried to eat plenty and drink a lot of water.

Fast forward to today. The girls are 9 weeks, 1 day old. It has now been over a week since they have had any formula. I have a stockpile of about 10 ounces in the fridge. It seems as though I'm finally keeping up with them, and have a little extra to boot! I still pump after ALMOST every feeding (I occasionally give myself a break when it's 2am and I'm just TIRED), still take Fenugreek, still eat a big 'ol bowl of oatmeal almost every day. Who knows which things are helping? It also could be that the girls just breastfeed a lot more now that they're bigger. Or, it could be a little bit of each thing.

I'm just hoping my body continues to keep up with them. Since we're moving, I can't really keep a stockpile of milk in the freezer, because it won't obviously stay frozen on the airplane. I think we might use up a lot of the stockpile though (wow. I'm saying "stockpile" a lot) next week, as I'm going in to work for two half days to train my replacement. I plan on bringing my pump so that I can pump a few times while I'm there, and Ian is going to stay home with them. I'm hoping that even if we use up all the extra, we'll still be able to avoid formula; but who knows.

At this point, I'm pretty proud of the progress (whoa. alliteration alert.) I've made. I'm hoping my body can keep up with the growing girls, but if I still have to occasionally supplement with formula from time to time, that's ok. Right now though, breastfeeding them is pretty much my number one priority (though....as it seems I have about fourteen days until I'm moving, I probably should start focusing on that a little more...).

Did anyone else out there breastfeed twins and have some tips for me? Or anyone at all have particular success about increasing and maintaining your supply? Any tips welcome! I'll keep updating on how it's going as time goes on.

For now, it's time for another feeding!

~M

the doubts

It stands to reason that when you're a first time parent, you're bound to have questions as to whether or not you're doing things right. Questioning your methods for feeding, changing, soothing, dressing, and burping them. I started having my doubts right away.

Recently, my doubts have mostly surrounded around breastfeeding and sleeping. I've always wanted to exclusively breastfeed my girls, but from day one there were hurdles encountered. Poppy had to spend a couple of days in the NICU, and she was fed formula while there. I was breastfeeding Amelie, but when they did some standard tests on her, they found she had low blood sugar, so they gave her some formula as well. Also, I tried to do rooming in with Amelie, because I wanted her to be with me all night, but because I was stuck in bed (more on that soon when I recap part two of my birth story. soon- I swear!) I was unable to lift her in and out of her bassinet. So, one night, in tears, I called the nurse and had her take Amelie to the nursery to sleep, where she was fed formula. With all of this happening;, right out of the gate I kind of felt like a failure. I was pumping and saving my colostrum to feed them, but it just wasn't enough with everything that was going on.

Since they have been home, I've done a combination of breastfeeding, pumping and supplementing with formula. Until the last few days, they really couldn't breastfeed for much longer than 10 minutes (usually shorter) before they fell asleep. So, the routine was: Breastfeed for 10 or fewer minutes, feed them my pumped breastmilk pumped from the previous feeding, then pump for 15-20 minutes afterwards. Sometimes this was enough, but quite often at first, (especially when my milk was still coming in) they also needed some formula.  I really never wanted to feed them formula, but it's just how it worked out. I didn't feel TOO bad, since I was still giving them all of my breastmilk, but it still wasn't how I planned it. Nowadays, they can nurse for quite a long time, and it's evident that they're getting more breast milk, because when I pump, there isn't a lot left. However, they still are hungry afterwards, so I still have to supplement. I've purchased books on increasing my milk supply and am doing all I can to help this out, but for now, supplementing is necessary. I have worries occasionally that giving them formula is "bad", and that I should be able to feed them only breast milk. But it's just not possible right now, so I hold out hope that someday soon we can cut the formula out of the picture.

And, sleeping. Well, they honestly had been doing pretty well. Actually, since they were premature, the pediatrician told us we needed to wake them every two hours to eat. And this was honestly hard sometimes; they'd be so sleepy. Once they surpassed their birth weights and were a few weeks old, we were told they could go 3 hour stretches, and 4 hours at night. They did this for probably 1 1/2 weeks (though I think they only lasted 4 hours once), but now? Not so much. Poppy is having some sleep issues now and has been waking up after less than two hours, or just not going to sleep at all. It's so confusing, because in all of the books they say that they are approaching a time (6 weeks) where they will start staying awake a little longer. BUT, it also says, if the babies are premature, it would be 6 weeks AFTER their due dates. Which wouldn't be until late August. So, not sure what the deal with Poppy is nowadays. I realize that things with babies don't always go by the book, and that there are things like growth spurts to factor in, but when you're sleep deprived and exhausted, you start to doubt things. Is it something I'm doing? Does she need to eat more? Less? Sigh. Sadly, since Poppy can't talk yet, there's no real way to know for sure. And who knows; tomorrow she could stop doing it and move on to something else.

That said, I'm trying to embrace my doubts a little more, and realize that they're just part of being a parent. I feel good about the fact that I do research, but that I don't live by what I read. I take it in and consider it, but we don't just do something becuase a certain book says so. Especially considering the next book you read will say something completely different.

I know that my doubts will grow and change as they get older. One thing I am absolutely positive of though; we love these girls more than anything, and will always be doing whatever we can to take the best care of them. Even if we doubt ourselves from time to time along the way.

~M

got milk?

So, I mentioned in my last post that we were having some latching issues and that I had decided it was probably for the best to reach out to a lactation consultant. I knew that they'd be able to help, and I really needed it.

After several days of incredibly frustrating feedings (two babies, both crying/fussing/wiggling because they aren't able to latch on properly), I just couldn't take it anymore. Coupled with the sleep deprivation and my crazy amounts of love for my girls; I realized I needed some help. Our pediatrician had suggested a lactation consultant that was in our neighborhood, so I gave her a call. Not only was she in our neighborhood; but she was right across the street! She told me she'd be able to come over the next day, and I was thrilled.

She brought a digital scale with her and weighed the girls before they fed so that once they latched on and fed, she could weigh them again, to see how much milk they had gotten. (By the way; Poppy has reached 6 pounds and Amelie is at 5 pounds 15.5 ounces!)

She showed me how to correctly position the babies in the football hold (at your side) and as soon as we had the right position- BAM! BAM! Successful latches. Amazing! Seriously, she just changed a few things, and they latched on right away. Since then, we've had successful latches about 98% of the time. If anyone lives in the New York area, I highly recommend you call Beverly Solow (www.bevsolow.com); she's amazing!

My milk supply still isn't as high as I need it to be every time, but I'm hoping with all of the feedings and pumping, that it soon will be. Beverly suggested I try an herb called fenugreek to help increase my supply; so I think I may do that. I gotta be able to feed my girls, and right now I'm having to supplement with formula about every other feeding or so. They are eating more than they did last week, so until my milk catches up, it's what I have to do. I always said I didn't want to have to do that, but what can you do? They have to eat!

Anyway, things in the land of feedings seem to be going smoothly, and I hope they continue to. We're still waking them up every 2 hours to feed and every 3 in the middle of the night. We'll see the pediatrician next week again and maybe she'll tell us we can spread that out a little bit; though who knows.

I'm just so happy that I contacted the lactation consultant and that she was such a big help. Yay for experts!

I am working on writing my birth story out, so I should have that in the next week or so (though it's likely to be in 2 or 3 parts); so stay tuned for that! I promise I'm trying to get better about posting more frequently, but if you had these two cuties to look at all day, would you be in a hurry to sit in front of the computer?

~M

all in a day

Whew. So sorry it's been so long since I've updated, but I barely have any free moments at all! I knew we were going to be busy and sleep deprived, but I guess I really didn't know to what degree until I was in the midst of it.

Anyway, I thought I'd post a "typical" day of taking care of my newborn twin girls. I know this time won't last very long in the grand scheme of things, so I want to make sure I have a record of it.

It's hard to know where to start the day, since there's not really a beginning or end. I'll start at the 7:45 am feeding yesterday morning, which was the first day without Ian here. He had to go back to work today, poor guy, and we sure missed him!

7:45 am- 8:30- Wake the babies. It takes about 10-15 minutes to wake them up. They are always very sleepy at first. Check their diapers. Feed babies. Nurse each for 10 minutes (try to do so simultaneously). The pediatrician said to not let them nurse much more than 10 minutes at this point, because they're little and it tuckers them out quickly. After they nurse, we feed them some pumped breast milk. Check diapers again, and swaddle them up. Sometimes they're very tired right afterwards, and sometimes it can take up to 1/2 hour to get them to sleep after we finish swaddling them.

8:45am- 9:15- Pump. I have to pump after every feeding to let my body know that I have to produce enough milk for two babies. Since they aren't nursing at full capacity yet, this is important. I pump from anywhere to 15-30 mins.

9:15am- Take a nap. Mom kindly watches the babies while they sleep in the bassinet in the living room, while I sleep for an hour.

10:15 am- repeat the wake/check diaper/nurse/feed/check diaper/swaddle from above.

11:15 am- Pump.

11:45am- 1:15- Make/eat breakfast. Shower. (ahhhh...shower....) Rest for a while. Do some tidying and dishes.

1:15 pm- wake/diaper/nurse/feed/diaper/swaddle. This feeding didn't go that well. Poppy wouldn't latch, and just cried and fussed the whole time I tried to get her to do so. Very sad. :(

2:15-2:45pm- Pump. Eat lunch during this pump session.

2:45-3:45- Called my friend Kristin in lieu of taking another nap. Was nice to catch up as we hadn't really spoken since I was in the hospital. I gave her the lowdown on my recovery and my sweet babies, and heard all about her baby as well.

3:45- 4:30- wake/diaper/nurse/feed/diaper/swaddle. Huzzah! They both latched. Exciting, but not sure what was different this time.

4:30-5:00- Pump.

5:00-6:15- Nap. Ah, glorious nap. Hadn't taken one since early this morning so it was much need and felt good. Until the alarm went off.

6:30- Ian is home! Back from his first day back at work. We all missed him and you can tell he missed his girls. He helps with this session of wake/diaper/nurse/feed/diaper/swaddle. Poppy doesn't latch again. It's becoming a trend, and not a good one. She gets very upset and cries and cries, because she's TRYING to latch, but can't figure it out for some reason. She sometimes can even latch, but then can't figure out she has to suck. Poor sweet baby. :(

7:30- Dinner. Watch an episode of Breaking Bad. Makes us feel a bit like we have more of a life than breastfeeding, pumping, diapers, and onesies. :)

9:00- 10:00pm- Final feeding before we switch to waking them every 3 hours. Poppy is having trouble with the breastfeeding again; so is Amelie. I decide to call a lactation consultant tomorrow, because I really want them to be able to breastfeed successfully.

10:00-10:30- Pump.

10:45-1:00 am- try to get some sleep.

1:00-1:40am- Feeding. Still not much luck with the latching for Poppy. Poor sweet girl; she gets so frustrated that it isn't working for her. I did this feeding with my mom so as to let Ian get an extra couple hours of solid sleep.

2:00-2:30am- Pump.

2:30-4:00am- try to sleep. Girls are fussy so I have to keep rocking them. Didn't get as much sleep as I would have liked; maybe 45 minutes or an hour. The girls wake up at 4am, even though our next feeding was going to be at 4:40. Guess their tummies didn't get the memo.

4:00-4:40- Feed, change, etc.

4:45- 5:15am- Pump.

5:30 -7:15 am- try to sleep. More successful this time. Wake up with Ian's alarm thinking we need to feed them right then, but then realize I have until 7:40. Try to close my eyes for a few more minutes.

7:45-8:30 am- Feed, change, swaddle, put them to sleep.... And it starts all over again......

I know that my days will not be like this for long in the grand scheme of things, and I'm trying to live in the moment and enjoy them at this size/age/stage in their little lives. We're exhausted, and it's pretty difficult, but I'm so happy to have my two little girls in my life now. They're the sweetest girls ever, and I feel like we just couldn't be luckier; even if we never sleep. :)

Well, some of us do, as you can see....

~M