all in the details

Yesterday was kind of a regular day. Yes, it was voting day, and yes, it was the day that I was going to find out if I was pregnant or not, but it honestly didn't feel like that special of a day once I woke up. I had to get up extra early, because my blood draw was at 8:15am on the east side in midtown, and I had to vote beforehand. So, I guess yesterday started out as a sleepy day mostly. Then a kind of dorkily excited day, because I really like voting. Even if my party doesn't win, I still feel so patriotic, filling out my little ballot.

Then I had to go get blood drawn. I was 15 minutes early, and grabbed the latest People magazine in the waiting room to catch up on Courtney Cox and David Arquette, and the Chilean miners. I still wasn't thinking much about WHY I was getting blood drawn. In the last 4-5 months, I've had so much blood drawn, it just didn't feel that different. I also think I've been trying to protect myself a bit while waiting for the results of this blood test. I WANTED to be pregnant, but the odds are always against you, so, I figured best to assume you won't be pregnant; then the disappointment won't be as bad. That's what I tried to tell myself anyway.

After the blood draw, I headed to work, and just went about my day. I wasn't expecting any sort of call until 3pm (because that's when the last two calls came). I worked away, trying to distract myself. Trying to think about what it would feel like to start all over again; again. Really trying to gear myself up for the good possibility that I was not pregnant.

At 12:20pm yesterday, my office phone rang. I thought nothing of it, because they don't usually call my work phone. I answered with my customary "This is Mariah" greeting, and was greeted back by, "Hello Mariah- It's Kathy from Dr. David's office." WAIT! Wait. I had planned on seeing that it was them on the caller ID before I picked up, because then I could gear myself up and also, listen to the nurse's voice. You see, the first call I got, when I wasn't pregnant, the nurse sounded all sympathetic when she said "This is so and so from Dr. David's office". And then the second time (when I WAS pregnant) she sounded all chipper and happy! So, I was planning on listening for that tell-tale clue, but I wasn't prepared! They called 3 hours early, and they called a different phone. Annnnywayyyy.. (is it getting annoying that I'm drawing this out with such stupid mundane details?), then she said… "Congratulations! You're pregnant!"

So, yep! We've done it again. It was weird getting the news this time. I was happy, but I felt COMPLETELY different this time. I felt excited, but at the same time scared- thinking about my miscarriage; wondering if it would happen again. Worrying about getting my hopes all up only to miscarry again. But as the day wore on, I started to feel even happier and more excited, because- hey! Maybe it will work this time! Maybe we'll be parents come July 2011. Maybe the best will happen, instead of the worst. This is what I hope for. :)

So, there's my news! Knocked up once again! Quite pleased about it, and looking forward to everything ahead. In the meantime, I've got lots of things I'm not allowed to do; exercise, carry heavy things, no air travel- which sadly means no coming home for the holidays :( I go in tomorrow to get more tests done on my blood, so I'll let you know how that goes.
In the meantime; I'm just happy as a clam, and feel so excited to start this journey again. :)

Thanks to everyone for all the amazing support. :) I'm so lucky to have all of you!

~M