10 months trying-to-get-pregnant-aversary

Happy anniversary to me? Today marks the 10th month of trying and trying and not yet succeeding in the game of baby makin'. Sometimes it's a fun game, (wink wink) and sometimes it's a heartbreaking, gut punching, soul crushing game. I guess not much of a fun game when it's those latter 3. But, we keep playing because hopefully, eventually, we'll win. A tiny little Ian, and tiny little me. This is what I keep my hopes up for. A tiny little person to love unconditionally.

So, I keep my head up (most of the time), and I keep pushing forward. I stumble often, but get back up. My hopes get dashed frequently, but, every new cycle is like a new beginning. Because we really want this. I want this more than I've ever wanted anything in my entire life. And my desire for it never wanes; only grows stronger.

So, happy 10th months of trying to me. It's not a sad anniversary, because I'm so happy that we decided to start a family! However, It's not an anniversary I hope to continue to celebrate for long.

Oh, you know what else? It also marks the one month anniversary of this little blog!! The little blog that probably two people read, but oh well! I started it for myself- to vent, to complain, to give myself hope. Thanks to all who read it though! And best of luck to all of you out there that are also on this journey!

~M